Isaiah 31:
Summary: It's stupid not to trust in God
My take: After hearing the Young Life club talk tonight about the woman at the well that challenged kids and myself to figure out what kind of "water" are we seeking to fulfill our lives and reading this passage, I realize that as much as I want to say I trust in God and He is what I seek to fulfill my life, it is not true. I seek out success. I want to be successful so badly that when success doesn't come my way (as in the politics test I got back today that I thought I had gotten an A on and actually got a B), I am dry and thirst for success in some other way to fill my cup. I KNOW that the Lord has got me in His hands and His plan is best, but it's sooo hard to believe that in the moment when I fail at something. You see this has worked for me so well for much of my life. I would consider myself a highly successful person. This is one of the big things that worries me about becoming an adult, though. I feel like there's last chance of measurable success. I can't be president of 3 organizations, be recognized for my grades, and get a leadership award at my job. I know. I know. Success will come in different ways, but I like measurable ways. Not immeasurable ways.
Lord, let me find my trust in you and not success. It's hard, Lord, but I know you are worth it.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Faithful
After writing that entry last night, I had an awesome 2 1/2 hour chat with my mom. We talked about a lot of things, but we kept coming back to two things. God is faithful and it's really important to be honest with fellow believers.
So, here's some honesty for you:
Growing up, my dad never had a steady job. He'd hop from one job to the next and many times just not have a job at all. I remember many times being literally angry with my dad. One particular time, I even went on a screaming tyrade at him because I was so angry. As a girl, I have a desire to be taken care of and protected and that just isn't him. My brother asked him last week about it, and he said he literally has never had any motivation to provide for his family. He just does not possess that natural male instinct to want to provide and protect his family. This is SO hard for me. I still have the urge to go yell at him about this sometimes. I have been so hurt by it so many times. I have finally realized, though, that it is something that I need to completely give to the Lord and pray that the Lord helps me forgive him because deep down I know I haven't. I still hold on to that hurt. All of this is so hard for me to even write because I HATE admitting that me or my family is not perfect. Most people in our town think we are the perfect family and nothing is wrong. Noone would ever believe that I have been hurt by my dad ever. We are the Spencers, who live in the perfect white 2 story house, have the 4 perfect kids who all were valedictorian or salutatorian and have grown up to be successful, and go to church every Sunday. I probably lie about my family more than anything else. I guess I just want us to be perfect so much that I lie to make us out to be. I am really good at putting on a perfect FACADE. I do it because it still kills me that me and my family are not perfect. Again, something I'm constantly having to give to the Lord.
So, that being said, my mom and I talked about that being honest with fellow believers is so important because we are meant to walk through the good and bad of life together! She was in her Bible study group last week when one lady admitted that she barely made it to Bible study because she is so depressed. That apparently opened up many of the ladies in the group to confess that they, too, are going through are have been through depression including my mom. My mom was stunned because I guess as we Christians, we just look at other people in our churches, and just expect them to have everything together. That's how we act. Christians are sooo good at putting on the pretty face. Especially as women, we think we have to hold our families together and we're deceived into believing that if something is not going right, we're failing as a Christian or mother. The true fact is NONE of us do have it all together! Once we admit that, it will make life so much better because now instead of carrying burdens on our own, we can share them with our fellow believers and walk through them together! We are never alone because Christ is with us, but also, we are never alone because chances are, there is another believer who's gone through or going through the same thing as you!
I struggle with being honest daily if not hourly if not minutely (is that a word??). I don't want people to know my struggles because then, they wouldn't see me as perfect. But, I need to first be honest with myself. Is this act I'm putting on bringing glory to God? And if I'm honest, it's absolutely not. Who knows who I could help or who could help me if they only knew what I was struggling with? Walking side by side as Christians is what we were made for. I know how sweet it is. Now, I just need to do it.
So, now that I've been honest, the faithful part comes in. As my mom and I talked about the whole situation with my dad and her bible study group, we also talked about how God has been and will be faithful through it all. With my dad, God has been faithful to our family by always providing what we needed and even given dad a steady job the last 9 years. He has been faithful to use my dad's situation to make my mom and I cling to Him. He has been faithful by providing us with a strong family unit. With her bible study group, He has been faithful by providing honest women that truly care for each other. For me, looking back on ways the Lord has been faithful is the best reminder that He will still be faithful even through the hard things I am going through right now.
So, since we're speaking in honesty, here's where I struggle:
I struggle with the fact that my brothers don't get along and that hurts me so much.
I struggle with my brother not following the Lord.
I struggle with lying.
I struggle with pride.
I struggle with feeling like I'm not a good Young Life leader.
I struggle with resentment against my Dad.
I struggle with not believing that the Lord could ever bring me the kind of Godly man I want to marry.
So, Lord I give you my struggles. Give me an honest heart and an honest tongue, Lord. Thanks for the chat with mom last night.
P.S. In awesome news, I ran 2 miles in 16:18 tonight!! That's the fastest I've run it since summer prior to freshmen year! I'm definitely getting the running bug and loving it!
So, here's some honesty for you:
Growing up, my dad never had a steady job. He'd hop from one job to the next and many times just not have a job at all. I remember many times being literally angry with my dad. One particular time, I even went on a screaming tyrade at him because I was so angry. As a girl, I have a desire to be taken care of and protected and that just isn't him. My brother asked him last week about it, and he said he literally has never had any motivation to provide for his family. He just does not possess that natural male instinct to want to provide and protect his family. This is SO hard for me. I still have the urge to go yell at him about this sometimes. I have been so hurt by it so many times. I have finally realized, though, that it is something that I need to completely give to the Lord and pray that the Lord helps me forgive him because deep down I know I haven't. I still hold on to that hurt. All of this is so hard for me to even write because I HATE admitting that me or my family is not perfect. Most people in our town think we are the perfect family and nothing is wrong. Noone would ever believe that I have been hurt by my dad ever. We are the Spencers, who live in the perfect white 2 story house, have the 4 perfect kids who all were valedictorian or salutatorian and have grown up to be successful, and go to church every Sunday. I probably lie about my family more than anything else. I guess I just want us to be perfect so much that I lie to make us out to be. I am really good at putting on a perfect FACADE. I do it because it still kills me that me and my family are not perfect. Again, something I'm constantly having to give to the Lord.
So, that being said, my mom and I talked about that being honest with fellow believers is so important because we are meant to walk through the good and bad of life together! She was in her Bible study group last week when one lady admitted that she barely made it to Bible study because she is so depressed. That apparently opened up many of the ladies in the group to confess that they, too, are going through are have been through depression including my mom. My mom was stunned because I guess as we Christians, we just look at other people in our churches, and just expect them to have everything together. That's how we act. Christians are sooo good at putting on the pretty face. Especially as women, we think we have to hold our families together and we're deceived into believing that if something is not going right, we're failing as a Christian or mother. The true fact is NONE of us do have it all together! Once we admit that, it will make life so much better because now instead of carrying burdens on our own, we can share them with our fellow believers and walk through them together! We are never alone because Christ is with us, but also, we are never alone because chances are, there is another believer who's gone through or going through the same thing as you!
I struggle with being honest daily if not hourly if not minutely (is that a word??). I don't want people to know my struggles because then, they wouldn't see me as perfect. But, I need to first be honest with myself. Is this act I'm putting on bringing glory to God? And if I'm honest, it's absolutely not. Who knows who I could help or who could help me if they only knew what I was struggling with? Walking side by side as Christians is what we were made for. I know how sweet it is. Now, I just need to do it.
So, now that I've been honest, the faithful part comes in. As my mom and I talked about the whole situation with my dad and her bible study group, we also talked about how God has been and will be faithful through it all. With my dad, God has been faithful to our family by always providing what we needed and even given dad a steady job the last 9 years. He has been faithful to use my dad's situation to make my mom and I cling to Him. He has been faithful by providing us with a strong family unit. With her bible study group, He has been faithful by providing honest women that truly care for each other. For me, looking back on ways the Lord has been faithful is the best reminder that He will still be faithful even through the hard things I am going through right now.
So, since we're speaking in honesty, here's where I struggle:
I struggle with the fact that my brothers don't get along and that hurts me so much.
I struggle with my brother not following the Lord.
I struggle with lying.
I struggle with pride.
I struggle with feeling like I'm not a good Young Life leader.
I struggle with resentment against my Dad.
I struggle with not believing that the Lord could ever bring me the kind of Godly man I want to marry.
So, Lord I give you my struggles. Give me an honest heart and an honest tongue, Lord. Thanks for the chat with mom last night.
P.S. In awesome news, I ran 2 miles in 16:18 tonight!! That's the fastest I've run it since summer prior to freshmen year! I'm definitely getting the running bug and loving it!
Friday, February 25, 2011
Backsliding
So, remember last week when I told you to expect longer updates this week?? clearly, that hasn't happened. i always have such good intentions coming home that my time with the Lord is gonna be soo good and i'm gonna spend more time with Him since I have more time, but usually, the opposite happens. it's like the more time i have, the more i don't want to give time to the Lord. i also had a huge realization today.
My backsliding looks different than some others backsliding. My backsliding may not be as evident to the eye. I don't drink or hook up when I backslide. I lie and become prideful. When I'm backsliding, those two things are on the rise. These past two weeks have looked painfully like I'm backsliding specifically in these two areas.
Lord, let me draw close to you. Take away my pride and my lying. Let me give it all to you. Give me that desire for you. Thank you for the way you work in my life even when I choose not to give time to you.
My backsliding looks different than some others backsliding. My backsliding may not be as evident to the eye. I don't drink or hook up when I backslide. I lie and become prideful. When I'm backsliding, those two things are on the rise. These past two weeks have looked painfully like I'm backsliding specifically in these two areas.
Lord, let me draw close to you. Take away my pride and my lying. Let me give it all to you. Give me that desire for you. Thank you for the way you work in my life even when I choose not to give time to you.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
home tomorrow/today!!
expect lots of longer posts for the next week since i'll be chillin' out at home for washington break.. man, i love trimesters :)
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
isaiah 30
it's good. go read it.. i'll give you summaries as soon as i go home friday.
all of this saying. prayer is good. the bible is good. god is good :)
all of this saying. prayer is good. the bible is good. god is good :)
Monday, February 14, 2011
Compassion
Man. The Lord is good. I still carried that heavy heart with me all day long until tonight when Joan told me not to be too hard on myself. I am human. She is so good to me. I thank the Lord daily for her. She loves me so well. In fact, after I saw her, I was overwhelmingly filled with compassion. Then, I found out later on that she had prayed for compassion for me! This huge weight was lifted and I felt so light. Love how the Lord works. Sometimes I just want to be perfect so badly that I get so frustrated with myself when I'm not. I need to constantly remind myself that I am human and I am going to make mistakes, but that's okay because I serve a God who forgives me of those sins.
Isaiah 28
Summary: sadness to Ephraim and Jerusalem
My Take: Alcohol is not the way to drown your sorrows. This is even the cases wayyy back when. This has not changed that people still tried to use alcohol to drown their problems. And listening to the Lord is so key. We can't learn from God if we're not listening for His voice and His guidance. Listening is just as important and you talking to God in a one sided way.
Lord, thanks for the way you lift heavy burdens from my heart. Thanks for being perfect, so I don't have to!
Isaiah 28
Summary: sadness to Ephraim and Jerusalem
My Take: Alcohol is not the way to drown your sorrows. This is even the cases wayyy back when. This has not changed that people still tried to use alcohol to drown their problems. And listening to the Lord is so key. We can't learn from God if we're not listening for His voice and His guidance. Listening is just as important and you talking to God in a one sided way.
Lord, thanks for the way you lift heavy burdens from my heart. Thanks for being perfect, so I don't have to!
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Needing Jesus
Fun, long day and weekend. From skiing and tubing to playing dodgeball, I had a lot of fun this weekend. It's tonight that the Lord really reminded me in a big way how much I need Him. As I sit here, I sit with a heavy heart. I am so selfish. I'm so impatient. I'm so imperfect. I need God to restore my spirit. I need Him to comfort me when I feel like I'm failing as a Christian. I need Him when I'm failing to love people well at all. I'm succeeding, though, when I give all my failures and shortcomings to Him. So, here you Lord. Here's all my failures. I need you.
Isaiah 27
Summary: Restoring Israel
My take: The Lord can restore anything. Nothing is too far gone to be restored.
Lord, thanks for reminding me how much I need you.
Isaiah 27
Summary: Restoring Israel
My take: The Lord can restore anything. Nothing is too far gone to be restored.
Lord, thanks for reminding me how much I need you.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
How He Loves Us
"O how He loves us so. O how He loves us. How he loves us so." Chris Tomlin
Every time I meet with Kevin for discipleship, I am challenged to be less prideful. Today, I was telling him that I wish one of my friends realized just how much Our Father loves her, and he asked if I even realized how much the Father loved me. Wow. Definitely took me back a little bit. I feel really loved for sure. I feel like Jesus' love is so satisfying. I love to soak it up. But, still I have so much to learn about how great His love for me is. If I really understood His love for me, I would be sharing it with all my friends. I definitely have a lot to learn about His love for me.
Isaiah 26.. These chapters now are just sooo full of wonderful-ness.. love it.
Summary- singing about how great salvation is now and in the end!
My take- just gonna do a little run down of a few of the verses I particularly love
v. 8: "O Lord, we have waited for You; The desire of our soul is for Your name..." Again, I'm not so good at waiting, but this again assures me that waiting has its rewards. I love the wording of the second part of this. I want that to be my desire every second of the day. That word desire just makes me think it is this deep longing for Christ, and I love that. I have a deep need for Christ.
v. 12b: "For You have also done all our works in us." I feel like the Lord little by little has been showing me the validity of this verse in my life. The only good that comes from me is from Christ because Christ is the only good in the world. All good comes from Christ. I need to constantly reminded of this because many times when I do anything good, my immediate reaction is to think I am just really awesome. I am slowly training myself to remember that God is that one that gave me that and that He is the awesome one for blessing me with awesome things.
Lord, let me continue to be in awe of your love for me. Let your love continue to transform my life and the way I love others. Thanks for loving me perfectly.
Every time I meet with Kevin for discipleship, I am challenged to be less prideful. Today, I was telling him that I wish one of my friends realized just how much Our Father loves her, and he asked if I even realized how much the Father loved me. Wow. Definitely took me back a little bit. I feel really loved for sure. I feel like Jesus' love is so satisfying. I love to soak it up. But, still I have so much to learn about how great His love for me is. If I really understood His love for me, I would be sharing it with all my friends. I definitely have a lot to learn about His love for me.
Isaiah 26.. These chapters now are just sooo full of wonderful-ness.. love it.
Summary- singing about how great salvation is now and in the end!
My take- just gonna do a little run down of a few of the verses I particularly love
v. 8: "O Lord, we have waited for You; The desire of our soul is for Your name..." Again, I'm not so good at waiting, but this again assures me that waiting has its rewards. I love the wording of the second part of this. I want that to be my desire every second of the day. That word desire just makes me think it is this deep longing for Christ, and I love that. I have a deep need for Christ.
v. 12b: "For You have also done all our works in us." I feel like the Lord little by little has been showing me the validity of this verse in my life. The only good that comes from me is from Christ because Christ is the only good in the world. All good comes from Christ. I need to constantly reminded of this because many times when I do anything good, my immediate reaction is to think I am just really awesome. I am slowly training myself to remember that God is that one that gave me that and that He is the awesome one for blessing me with awesome things.
Lord, let me continue to be in awe of your love for me. Let your love continue to transform my life and the way I love others. Thanks for loving me perfectly.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Laundry
Soooo.. it finally got down after only 4 1/2 short weeks. I think I may have set a record. My mound was getting sooo huge. Last week, I even ran out of underwear, but instead of doing laundry, I just went and bought more. Yeah, I'm really pathetic. But, you might be, too if doing laundry consisted of lugging it down 3 flights of stairs and then outside. Ironically, I chose the day when it was all snowy and really cold outside. Haha.. Anyways, I had a great day. I continually see the Lord in my everyday life and I love it.
Sooo much goodness in Isaiah 25.. It's just become my favorite chapter in Isaiah so far
Summary- How we will praise God with everything we are and how He will remove all suffering from life in the end
My take-
v.1 "O Lord, You are my God. I will exalt You. I will praise Your name. For You have done wonderful things; Your counsels of old are faithfulness and truth." I love that last line. I read it to mean his promises are faithfulness and truth. He promises us so much, and fulfills it every time. Love that.
v.4 "For You have been a strength to the poor, A strength to the needy in his distress. A refuge from the storm, A shade from the heat." Remind me of my CSM summer. The Lord is the strength of the rich and the poor. He can be there for those that feel like they have nothing else, whether that be they have no food or whether they have no love.
v.8"He will swallow up death forever, And the Lord God will wipe away tears from all the faces."
Probably my favorite verse from this chapter. I would want this to be read at my funeral. Death here on this earth does not determine death for eternity. Amen to that. I love the imagery of the Lord swallowing up death forever. It's especially relevant after all these proclamations against so many countries. The Lord will not only swallow up death forever, but He will have no crying or sadness in heaven either. Soooo good.
v.9 "And it will be said in that day: Behold this is our God; We have waited for Him, and He will save us. This is the Lord; We have waited for Him;We will be glad and rejoice in His salvation."
This verse is so good. It definitely assures me that waiting on God is so worth it! Even right now, I feel like I'm waiting on the Lord to show me where and what I'll be doing next year. I'm playing a big waiting game, but the Lord is still in it. He has my perfect plan. I will wait for Him because He is worth it.
v.11b" And He will bring down their pride." Self-explanatory. While I feel like the Lord has been working on my pride lately, I still have a LONG way to go. It's gonna suck, but also be so good when ultimately the Lord brings my pride to none. It means that I'll fully be rejoicing Him and be in awe of His majesty.
Sooo much goodness in Isaiah 25.. It's just become my favorite chapter in Isaiah so far
Summary- How we will praise God with everything we are and how He will remove all suffering from life in the end
My take-
v.1 "O Lord, You are my God. I will exalt You. I will praise Your name. For You have done wonderful things; Your counsels of old are faithfulness and truth." I love that last line. I read it to mean his promises are faithfulness and truth. He promises us so much, and fulfills it every time. Love that.
v.4 "For You have been a strength to the poor, A strength to the needy in his distress. A refuge from the storm, A shade from the heat." Remind me of my CSM summer. The Lord is the strength of the rich and the poor. He can be there for those that feel like they have nothing else, whether that be they have no food or whether they have no love.
v.8"He will swallow up death forever, And the Lord God will wipe away tears from all the faces."
Probably my favorite verse from this chapter. I would want this to be read at my funeral. Death here on this earth does not determine death for eternity. Amen to that. I love the imagery of the Lord swallowing up death forever. It's especially relevant after all these proclamations against so many countries. The Lord will not only swallow up death forever, but He will have no crying or sadness in heaven either. Soooo good.
v.9 "And it will be said in that day: Behold this is our God; We have waited for Him, and He will save us. This is the Lord; We have waited for Him;We will be glad and rejoice in His salvation."
This verse is so good. It definitely assures me that waiting on God is so worth it! Even right now, I feel like I'm waiting on the Lord to show me where and what I'll be doing next year. I'm playing a big waiting game, but the Lord is still in it. He has my perfect plan. I will wait for Him because He is worth it.
v.11b" And He will bring down their pride." Self-explanatory. While I feel like the Lord has been working on my pride lately, I still have a LONG way to go. It's gonna suck, but also be so good when ultimately the Lord brings my pride to none. It means that I'll fully be rejoicing Him and be in awe of His majesty.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
His timing
The Lord answered a long time prayer today. He brought some younger girls to BSU! That, in itself, was a step of boldness. I asked new people to come, and they even liked it! Also, I was motivated and was finished with my homework by about 3 today! And of course, what Tuesday would be complete without a little Zumba session! We did a whole 45 minute one tonight, too and I still loved it.. especially when some pledges came in to work on their lipsync dance.. haha.. we may have turned them into zumba lovers, too! I love how the Lord answers prayer with the perfect timing. We want our timing to be God's timing so many times when really God's is best. We just don't know that at the time.
Isaiah 24
Summary: Everyone in the end will vanish and all will be viewed the same
My take: This life is so short. Live for the Lord because He is for eternity. After this weekend, this makes me feel even more bold about sharing my faith. Who cares if you have to have a really awkward conversation or lose a friend because you share the Gospel? It's the difference between life or death for eternity. This time on earth is sooo short compared to eternity. Sometimes I try to put my brain around that idea and then my brain just starts to hurt. Point is, that's a long time and the human brain shouldn't be able to comprehend it because it's a God sized thing and we are not God.
Lord, thanks for answering my prayers in your perfect timing. Let me have a patient spirit.
Isaiah 24
Summary: Everyone in the end will vanish and all will be viewed the same
My take: This life is so short. Live for the Lord because He is for eternity. After this weekend, this makes me feel even more bold about sharing my faith. Who cares if you have to have a really awkward conversation or lose a friend because you share the Gospel? It's the difference between life or death for eternity. This time on earth is sooo short compared to eternity. Sometimes I try to put my brain around that idea and then my brain just starts to hurt. Point is, that's a long time and the human brain shouldn't be able to comprehend it because it's a God sized thing and we are not God.
Lord, thanks for answering my prayers in your perfect timing. Let me have a patient spirit.
Monday, February 7, 2011
I know who I am
"I know who I am. I know who I am. I know who I am. I am Yours. I am Yours."
This song was on repeat in my head all day today after learning it this weekend. I feel like it's my anthem of this year. I feel the most content I think I've ever felt in the Lord. I know who I am and I am His. This weekend I was goofy and crazy and confident at the same time. It was so freeing. I have finally realized that who I am is awesome because God made me this way, so just be me no matter what. It sounds simple, but hard to actually achieve. It's such a great place to be with the Lord because no matter what the circumstance, I can still be joyful and know that I am His.
Isaiah 23-
Summary: Proclamation against Syria and Tyre and how they are gonna fall
My take- v. 11 says, "He stretched out His hand over the sea, He shook the kingdoms." Again, we see the Lord's crazy, awesome power. I think it's definitely a trend here in Isaiah. How crazy is it that the Lord can just shake kingdoms if he wants to? Hey, God. I have a few people I'd like you to shake. Wanna come help me out there? Haha.. I wish.
Lord, thanks for letting my identity be solely in you and not what I do. Thanks for my unexpected interview today and the way you are providing in my life.
This song was on repeat in my head all day today after learning it this weekend. I feel like it's my anthem of this year. I feel the most content I think I've ever felt in the Lord. I know who I am and I am His. This weekend I was goofy and crazy and confident at the same time. It was so freeing. I have finally realized that who I am is awesome because God made me this way, so just be me no matter what. It sounds simple, but hard to actually achieve. It's such a great place to be with the Lord because no matter what the circumstance, I can still be joyful and know that I am His.
Isaiah 23-
Summary: Proclamation against Syria and Tyre and how they are gonna fall
My take- v. 11 says, "He stretched out His hand over the sea, He shook the kingdoms." Again, we see the Lord's crazy, awesome power. I think it's definitely a trend here in Isaiah. How crazy is it that the Lord can just shake kingdoms if he wants to? Hey, God. I have a few people I'd like you to shake. Wanna come help me out there? Haha.. I wish.
Lord, thanks for letting my identity be solely in you and not what I do. Thanks for my unexpected interview today and the way you are providing in my life.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Here I am, send me.
This weekend had the awesome opportunity to go the IV's winter conference on evangelism out at Rockbridge. It was exactly what I needed. I needed to reconnect with God and remember how to hear Him again. I needed to be challenged. I needed time to be goofy and dance and have fun on a ropes course. It was just so wonderful. I'll talk more about the retreat tomorrow, but I'll leave you with a few big things I got from the speaker this weekend, who was absolutely incredible.
1.) We can and should be constantly expanding our capacity to be filled by God.
2.) There was never a person made that was not made to worship God.
3.) Asking friends, "What is stopping you from following Jesus?"
4.) If you really care about your friends, you will tell them about Jesus.
5.) Fear clenches the joy of the Holy Spirit.
Isaiah 22
Summary: Proclamation against Jerusalem and the judgment that will fall on Shebna
My take: After this weekend, I love that the last 4 words of this chapter are "The Lord has spoken." Sure, there's power in the proclamation against Jerusalem and the judgment of Shebna, but the real power is in that the Lord has spoken. When the Lord speaks, it's more powerful than anything else. This weekend when the Lord laid different things on my heart, I was overwhelmed with his power.
Lord, thanks for the Holy Spirit. Let me continue to expand my capacity to be filled by you. Let me listen to you.
1.) We can and should be constantly expanding our capacity to be filled by God.
2.) There was never a person made that was not made to worship God.
3.) Asking friends, "What is stopping you from following Jesus?"
4.) If you really care about your friends, you will tell them about Jesus.
5.) Fear clenches the joy of the Holy Spirit.
Isaiah 22
Summary: Proclamation against Jerusalem and the judgment that will fall on Shebna
My take: After this weekend, I love that the last 4 words of this chapter are "The Lord has spoken." Sure, there's power in the proclamation against Jerusalem and the judgment of Shebna, but the real power is in that the Lord has spoken. When the Lord speaks, it's more powerful than anything else. This weekend when the Lord laid different things on my heart, I was overwhelmed with his power.
Lord, thanks for the Holy Spirit. Let me continue to expand my capacity to be filled by you. Let me listen to you.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
In Control
The more I talk with Kevin, our GCF minister, about different struggles in my life, the more I am starting to realize that there is one root. I like to be in control of everything. I'm worried about my future because I don't like not being in control of where I'm going next. I don't like passing down my leadership positions because I don't like giving someone else control. I don't like not being perfect because then that means that I'm not fully in control of myself. It's a hard battle to fight. Today, for the first time I realized not just with head knowledge, but with heart knowledge, that I can't go on clutching on to things so tightly. I will never be able to hold on forever. I will never be able to control everything I want to control. But, thankfully, that's why I serve a God who is in control, whether I want Him to be sometimes or not. As hard as it is for me to pray for the Lord to take away my pride, it's even harder for me to pray that the Lord will take away my control. But, that's what needs to happen.
Lord, take away my "supposed" control. Control everything in my life because you know best! Change my heart, so that I want you to be in control.
Isaiah 21
Summary- Babylon is going to fall soon. This chapter talks about what that will look like.
My take- v. 9b "and all the carved images of her gods He has broken to the ground." This chapter paints such a good picture of what I imagine the end times to be like. All of the false gods will be torn to the ground. All the mosques and statues of Budah will fall to the ground at the glory of God. There will no longer be any doubt of who God is. The question is, "Do you know Him?" I am so blessed to say that I do know Him and am pumped at that day because I will get to spend eternity in heaven with my Jesus.
Lord, take away my "supposed" control. Control everything in my life because you know best! Change my heart, so that I want you to be in control.
Isaiah 21
Summary- Babylon is going to fall soon. This chapter talks about what that will look like.
My take- v. 9b "and all the carved images of her gods He has broken to the ground." This chapter paints such a good picture of what I imagine the end times to be like. All of the false gods will be torn to the ground. All the mosques and statues of Budah will fall to the ground at the glory of God. There will no longer be any doubt of who God is. The question is, "Do you know Him?" I am so blessed to say that I do know Him and am pumped at that day because I will get to spend eternity in heaven with my Jesus.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Patient
Another thing I wish I were. I am definitely working on it. I am making a conscious effort to be patient with people. I'm just so time motivated that it makes it sooo hard. I just have to keep my reminding myself that people and relationships are more important than time. It sounds like that's easy, but not for me. I am very task driven. Thus, sometimes having to talk to someone for an extra five minutes can start to really frustrate me. It's stupid. I know. But, that's why I have Jesus to rely on. I can't be patient on my own. 2 summers ago as a camp counselor, me and my girls talked about 3 steps to Christianity. #1, accepting Christ into your life. #2, choosing to serve the Lord even when you don't want to aka transforming your actions or outward appearance and #3 transforming the inside, so that you want to serve people instead of feeling like you have to. You can't skip #1 to get to 2 or 3. It's so true. Many times, you aren't going to want to do something, but you still need to choose to do it anyways. Eventually, the closer you get to the Lord, the more natural it will become and you'll want to do those things because you're serving Him.
Isaiah 20
Summary: Sign against Egypt and Ethiopia
My take: Well, this chapter's a bit tough to try to apply it to my life being only 6 verses about what's going to happen to Egypt and Ethiopia, but I do like how it is pointed out how faithful Isaiah has been.
v. 3 "Then the Lord said, "Just as My servant Isaiah has walked naked and barefoot three years for a sign..." Man, I want to be that much of a servant, too. If Isaiah can walk naked and barefoot for three years, I can be patient with my friends. I can love someone I don't feel like loving. I can do it because I am a servant of Christ. It's definitely really humbling to see just how faithful Isaiah was. My pride gets to me a lot and I think that I am this great Christian until you see someone like this and I feel like such dirt comparatively. It just shows we always have growing to do in the Lord. We never arrive. So hard, but so good.
Lord, let me be your servant. Let me serve like Isaiah.
Isaiah 20
Summary: Sign against Egypt and Ethiopia
My take: Well, this chapter's a bit tough to try to apply it to my life being only 6 verses about what's going to happen to Egypt and Ethiopia, but I do like how it is pointed out how faithful Isaiah has been.
v. 3 "Then the Lord said, "Just as My servant Isaiah has walked naked and barefoot three years for a sign..." Man, I want to be that much of a servant, too. If Isaiah can walk naked and barefoot for three years, I can be patient with my friends. I can love someone I don't feel like loving. I can do it because I am a servant of Christ. It's definitely really humbling to see just how faithful Isaiah was. My pride gets to me a lot and I think that I am this great Christian until you see someone like this and I feel like such dirt comparatively. It just shows we always have growing to do in the Lord. We never arrive. So hard, but so good.
Lord, let me be your servant. Let me serve like Isaiah.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Isaiah 19
Homework just got done and it's 2:30 AM.. such is college life.. so short post tonight since I'm presenting a problem in Abstract Algebra at 9:05.
Isaiah 19:
Summary:Proclamation against Egypt
My take: Throughout these proclamations, the Lord's power is just so very evident. He is powerful and just, yet you still get the sense that He is doing what is right for them. The Lord in the end shows such grace. I need to constantly be reminded how much I need grace. So many times I just feel right in my frustration and pity, and don't see it as sinful. I think I want so badly not to be sinful that I try to look over sins such as these. I've said before that I hate that I'm not perfect. I was actually talking about this in discipleship a few weeks ago and my GCF minister said something so profound that I'll never forget. Being perfect is not not sinning. If it was, we could stay in bed all day and see no one and be perfect. There are days when we can come pretty close in our heads to "not sinning." However, being perfect means loving perfectly. Man, do I have a long way to go in that. There is no confusion there that I'm not perfect.
Lord, thanks for being perfect so I don't have to be. Continue to shower me with your grace and remind me of it.
Isaiah 19:
Summary:Proclamation against Egypt
My take: Throughout these proclamations, the Lord's power is just so very evident. He is powerful and just, yet you still get the sense that He is doing what is right for them. The Lord in the end shows such grace. I need to constantly be reminded how much I need grace. So many times I just feel right in my frustration and pity, and don't see it as sinful. I think I want so badly not to be sinful that I try to look over sins such as these. I've said before that I hate that I'm not perfect. I was actually talking about this in discipleship a few weeks ago and my GCF minister said something so profound that I'll never forget. Being perfect is not not sinning. If it was, we could stay in bed all day and see no one and be perfect. There are days when we can come pretty close in our heads to "not sinning." However, being perfect means loving perfectly. Man, do I have a long way to go in that. There is no confusion there that I'm not perfect.
Lord, thanks for being perfect so I don't have to be. Continue to shower me with your grace and remind me of it.
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