Being an RA the past three years, I've learned a lot of things. I think one of the biggest things I've learned is how to be assertive. Specifically in my role as head RA this year, I've had to be assertive at many times I didn't want to be, but knew I needed to be. Especially this last week, my assertiveness has been put to the test. I still don't particularly like being assertive sometimes specifically when it has to do with confronting issues, but I now know how necessary it is. Now, the key is translating this assertiveness into my walk with the Lord. The Lord calls us to share his Word with all people. Although confronting issues is hard, sharing the Gospel for me even poses a larger challenge. I'm so insecure about it. I always think I don't know enough even though I know that's a lie from Satan. This is definitely something I'm going to work on becoming more bold about.
Isaiah 18:
Summary- proclamation against Ethiopia
My take-
v. 7 "And from a people terrible from their beginning onward." As depressing as this is, it's a great reminder to me that we can't expect non-Christians to act like Christians. We can't expect them to love. We can't expect them to be patient. We can't expect them to even be nice to us. Because from the being after Adam ate the apple, humans were terrible aka we are sinners. I think I forget this so much. I just expect people to always be nice to each other and love each other even when I know they aren't Christians. It's also a good pride reminder to me that I am not inherently good since I have a sinful nature just like everyone else. It's still a constant battle for me that I can never be perfect. I want to be perfect so much, and hate it when I'm not! But, here it says, I'm never going to be perfect since people have been "terrible" since the beginning.
Lord, let me be bold in my faith. Grow me in boldness. Continue to remind me that I don't need to be perfect because you are. Lord, thanks for being so patient with me.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Convicted
Such a good day in the house of the Lord. Over 20 GCFers were there to watch our new sister in Christ, Emily get baptized. I loved the overwhelming sense of community I felt not just from my friends from W&L, but the church as a whole. I love my church family at Lex Bap so much. They love college students so well! They are just what I need while I'm here at school. It doesn't hurt that they feed us 2 homecooked meals every Sunday! That being said, the Lord really convicted me today while Pastor Wilburn spoke. We were in Hebrews and came to the verse about spurring one another on to love and good works. I realized so much today that I have been terrible at loving some of the people I love the most lately. I've been impatient, unconcerned, easily frustrated, and simply uninterested in their lives because I've been so enamored with my own. Yesterday, on the YL prayer retreat, I started to realize just how selfish I am. As I wrote down confessions to the Lord, I seemed to write down more and more ways I was selfish. One of the biggest ways I'm selfish is with my time. I guess so many times I have so little of it that I can call my own that I am soo selfish with it. I want everything planned out, and if it doesn't go according to plan because a friend is a few minutes late even for good reason, I shut down loving people. Thankfully, though, I know my Lord is not finished with me. He is changing me constantly, and this is just a hard thing in my life that needs to be changed.
So, Isaiah 17:
Summary- One of the first proclamations of many against countries. This time, against Syria and Israel
My take-
v. 7 "In that day a man will look to his Maker, and his eyes will have the respect for the Holy One of Israel." I can only imagine how awesome it is going to be to look to our Maker. I see myself just looking straight up at a God I am so in awe of. I feel like that's what I will do when I first see God. I will just stand there, speechless in awe, perhaps even falling to my knees. Despite all the destruction that is to take place to Syria and Israel, God remains. We will still be in awe of Him. I can't wait to be in awe of Him. I am already in awe of Him now. I can't imagine how much more I will be once I see his beautiful face.
Lord, thank you for continuing to change me. It's not easy, but I know it is worth it to be closer to you. Thank you for the wonderful people in my life. Give me love for them this week.
So, Isaiah 17:
Summary- One of the first proclamations of many against countries. This time, against Syria and Israel
My take-
v. 7 "In that day a man will look to his Maker, and his eyes will have the respect for the Holy One of Israel." I can only imagine how awesome it is going to be to look to our Maker. I see myself just looking straight up at a God I am so in awe of. I feel like that's what I will do when I first see God. I will just stand there, speechless in awe, perhaps even falling to my knees. Despite all the destruction that is to take place to Syria and Israel, God remains. We will still be in awe of Him. I can't wait to be in awe of Him. I am already in awe of Him now. I can't imagine how much more I will be once I see his beautiful face.
Lord, thank you for continuing to change me. It's not easy, but I know it is worth it to be closer to you. Thank you for the wonderful people in my life. Give me love for them this week.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Day in the Life
9:30 AM 1st Alarm Goes Off
9:45 AM 2nd Alarm Goes off and wake up
10:07 AM Arrive in the Commons for Discipleship with Kevin
11:12 AM Go talk to the Deans and set up a time to meet
11:39 AM Head down to DHall for a quick lunch
12:19 PM Arrive in class without my laptop since lunch went longer than expected. Thankfully, Irina gives us 15 minutes to get our laptops
1:40 PM Released early from class, and make the hard decision to go finish homework instead of napping
1:55 PM Talk to professor to make sure my homework is right
2:32 PM Arrive back in room to study, make Feb break flight, check emails, and take back our pink christmas tree that's been sitting in my room for a week
5:00 PM Go talk to an RA
5:30 PM Hall Meeting
6:09 PM Core Group Ridiculousness ensues
6:42 PM DHall dinner at the RA table where interesting conversations always take place
7:22 PM Move tables for large group
7:50 PM Find trivia for large group
8:09 PM Large group starts
9:29 PM Meet to do Abstract HW
10:02 PM Go see "The Social Network," which was one of the most interesting and sad movies I've ever seen
12:12 AM Realize I still need to shower and finish Abstract
12:52 Finish Blogging :)
Isaiah 16:
Summary-Moab finally destroyed because of its evil-ness (yes, i'm making up words)
My take- Although there is so much sorrow and hurt and war going in, God is still God. He is still powerful. He is still in control. I think so many times when our lives are spiraling out of control, we feel alone. Yet, as demonstrated in this passage, God is in control. The Lord is there. The Lord must bring justice even if it means destroying Moab. It will be the same in the end times. He will bring justice to the unjust. Pretty scary to think about actually. We've probably all been unjust at one time or another. Scary, but also comforting to know that He will set everything right!
9:45 AM 2nd Alarm Goes off and wake up
10:07 AM Arrive in the Commons for Discipleship with Kevin
11:12 AM Go talk to the Deans and set up a time to meet
11:39 AM Head down to DHall for a quick lunch
12:19 PM Arrive in class without my laptop since lunch went longer than expected. Thankfully, Irina gives us 15 minutes to get our laptops
1:40 PM Released early from class, and make the hard decision to go finish homework instead of napping
1:55 PM Talk to professor to make sure my homework is right
2:32 PM Arrive back in room to study, make Feb break flight, check emails, and take back our pink christmas tree that's been sitting in my room for a week
5:00 PM Go talk to an RA
5:30 PM Hall Meeting
6:09 PM Core Group Ridiculousness ensues
6:42 PM DHall dinner at the RA table where interesting conversations always take place
7:22 PM Move tables for large group
7:50 PM Find trivia for large group
8:09 PM Large group starts
9:29 PM Meet to do Abstract HW
10:02 PM Go see "The Social Network," which was one of the most interesting and sad movies I've ever seen
12:12 AM Realize I still need to shower and finish Abstract
12:52 Finish Blogging :)
Isaiah 16:
Summary-Moab finally destroyed because of its evil-ness (yes, i'm making up words)
My take- Although there is so much sorrow and hurt and war going in, God is still God. He is still powerful. He is still in control. I think so many times when our lives are spiraling out of control, we feel alone. Yet, as demonstrated in this passage, God is in control. The Lord is there. The Lord must bring justice even if it means destroying Moab. It will be the same in the end times. He will bring justice to the unjust. Pretty scary to think about actually. We've probably all been unjust at one time or another. Scary, but also comforting to know that He will set everything right!
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Streams of Abundance
Blessed be your name
In the land that is plentiful
When your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be your name
The Lord has been so abundantly blessing me lately that this verse of "Blessed be Your Name" accurately expresses my life right now. What's even cooler than that He has been blessing me is that I am getting closer and closer to Him as well. So many times when things are going as I want them to, I start to get prideful and worship myself and draw away from the Father. When everything's going well, I feel as though I don't need God. But, right now, I feel so blessed and like I need my God to rejoice with me! God wants to be their in my triumphs not just my sorrows! Basically, my day couldn't have gotten much better. Here's a few reasons why:
1) Woke up feeling pretty rested
2) Wore a dress and felt really cute all day
3) Latin dance freestyle: enough said
4) Best part of the day: quality time with soo many of my favorite people-Sam for lunch, Matt for second part of lunch, Alex and Joan for dinner, some of my current and past residents just hanging out in the commons, Jordy for frisbee, Eric for a leadership chat, Matt, Robert, and Clarke for prayer, finishing off with Abby for prayer and life catch up. I wish every day could be filled with meaningful conversations with this many wonderful people.
5) It snowed A LOT
6) All my activities were cancelled for tonight due to snow!
7) I got a TFA final interview!!!!! Soooo excited!!
8) Pizza Hut pizza
9) Snow Frisbee-there's a first time for everything, right?
10) I prayed a lot today and just really want to spend time with the Lord!
See, how could my day have gotten any better??
Isaiah 15:
Summary- All things are going against Moab
My take- The Lord never guarantees happiness all the time. Things will suck sometimes. Even though, I'm in a really good place with the Lord and friends and family right now, I still know that there will be sorrow in my life. As much as I try to stay cautious and avoid sorrow at all costs, it will never be completely avoided. Sometimes this plays against me. I am so scared of being hurt that it sometimes doesn't allow me to let me be all of me. I'm goofy. I'm silly. I'm crazy when I'm hyper. Somehow I think if I let all of me out, I would be hurt. But no, God loves all of me, even though I continue to sin everyday. He loves me because He made me. How beautiful is that? No matter what I do, God will continue to love me.
Lord, thanks for your streams of abundance. Let me praise your name when your streams flow with abundance and completely dry up.
In the land that is plentiful
When your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be your name
The Lord has been so abundantly blessing me lately that this verse of "Blessed be Your Name" accurately expresses my life right now. What's even cooler than that He has been blessing me is that I am getting closer and closer to Him as well. So many times when things are going as I want them to, I start to get prideful and worship myself and draw away from the Father. When everything's going well, I feel as though I don't need God. But, right now, I feel so blessed and like I need my God to rejoice with me! God wants to be their in my triumphs not just my sorrows! Basically, my day couldn't have gotten much better. Here's a few reasons why:
1) Woke up feeling pretty rested
2) Wore a dress and felt really cute all day
3) Latin dance freestyle: enough said
4) Best part of the day: quality time with soo many of my favorite people-Sam for lunch, Matt for second part of lunch, Alex and Joan for dinner, some of my current and past residents just hanging out in the commons, Jordy for frisbee, Eric for a leadership chat, Matt, Robert, and Clarke for prayer, finishing off with Abby for prayer and life catch up. I wish every day could be filled with meaningful conversations with this many wonderful people.
5) It snowed A LOT
6) All my activities were cancelled for tonight due to snow!
7) I got a TFA final interview!!!!! Soooo excited!!
8) Pizza Hut pizza
9) Snow Frisbee-there's a first time for everything, right?
10) I prayed a lot today and just really want to spend time with the Lord!
See, how could my day have gotten any better??
Isaiah 15:
Summary- All things are going against Moab
My take- The Lord never guarantees happiness all the time. Things will suck sometimes. Even though, I'm in a really good place with the Lord and friends and family right now, I still know that there will be sorrow in my life. As much as I try to stay cautious and avoid sorrow at all costs, it will never be completely avoided. Sometimes this plays against me. I am so scared of being hurt that it sometimes doesn't allow me to let me be all of me. I'm goofy. I'm silly. I'm crazy when I'm hyper. Somehow I think if I let all of me out, I would be hurt. But no, God loves all of me, even though I continue to sin everyday. He loves me because He made me. How beautiful is that? No matter what I do, God will continue to love me.
Lord, thanks for your streams of abundance. Let me praise your name when your streams flow with abundance and completely dry up.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Feeling Good
Today was a great day. No specific reason or event that occurred. I just really felt on top of things today. I feel like it's the start of me really being productive and liking it. I worked ahead on homework, got my car fixed, which I'd been needing to for a while (and it only cost $20, PTL!), did work study for 2 hours, talked to my advisor about taking spring option (and i'm officially eligible for it, yesss! hello tubing and hanging out every day spring term!), went to RUF, watched the State of the Union and did a session of Zumba (which I'm offically in love with). And, I'm doing this without my accountability friend telling me to!! Thank you Lord for answering my prayers for motivation!! Also, can I just say prayer works?? A friend also prayed for discipline and motivation for me the other night while we praying together. God listens!!
And, Isaiah 14:
Summary- The oppression and sorrow will cease in the end days, the terrible-ness of Lucifer, and multiple nations destroyed
My take-
I love that this chapter more focuses on the emotional side of the end times. Specifically, verse 3:
"It shall come to pass in the day the Lord gives you rest from your sorrow, and from your fear and the hard bondage in which you were made to serve." This is such good reassurance to know that although, we go through a lot here on this earth, all trials will end when we get to Heaven! This is definitely a verse I'm gonna turn back to when I'm in the midst of a lot of school work to do. I feel like that's when I feel most tied up in "bondage."
And, guess what I'm gonna talk about next? Surprise.. God's power! With Babylon and Assyria and Philistia being destroyed, once again God's power is showcased. I definitely am starting to see a trend of God's power on display in Isaiah. Either it is, or I just like to pull out any little thing about His power because it's one of my favorite attributes of God.
I think that perhaps the reason power is one of my favorite traits is because I absolutely hate feeling powerless. I can remember feeling powerless to change how I looked in middle school and hating it. I remember feeling powerless in high school when my softball coach wouldn't play me and hating it. I remember feeling powerless in college freshmen and sophomore year not having dates to date functions and hating it. I hate feeling powerless, so I love that since God is with me and I know him, I can also be powerful!! Even through all these situations, eventually I did feel powerful. The Lord definitely used these powerless situations to rely on His power. I think God does that. He sometimes showcases our weaknesses to force us to rely on Him when we wouldn't naturally. I can tell you in my own life, that's definitely been great for me. Sucked at the time of course, but in the long run, I'm very thankful.
Lord, thank you for bringing so many people out of bondage in so many different ways. Thank you for being powerful, so I don't remain powerless.
And, Isaiah 14:
Summary- The oppression and sorrow will cease in the end days, the terrible-ness of Lucifer, and multiple nations destroyed
My take-
I love that this chapter more focuses on the emotional side of the end times. Specifically, verse 3:
"It shall come to pass in the day the Lord gives you rest from your sorrow, and from your fear and the hard bondage in which you were made to serve." This is such good reassurance to know that although, we go through a lot here on this earth, all trials will end when we get to Heaven! This is definitely a verse I'm gonna turn back to when I'm in the midst of a lot of school work to do. I feel like that's when I feel most tied up in "bondage."
And, guess what I'm gonna talk about next? Surprise.. God's power! With Babylon and Assyria and Philistia being destroyed, once again God's power is showcased. I definitely am starting to see a trend of God's power on display in Isaiah. Either it is, or I just like to pull out any little thing about His power because it's one of my favorite attributes of God.
I think that perhaps the reason power is one of my favorite traits is because I absolutely hate feeling powerless. I can remember feeling powerless to change how I looked in middle school and hating it. I remember feeling powerless in high school when my softball coach wouldn't play me and hating it. I remember feeling powerless in college freshmen and sophomore year not having dates to date functions and hating it. I hate feeling powerless, so I love that since God is with me and I know him, I can also be powerful!! Even through all these situations, eventually I did feel powerful. The Lord definitely used these powerless situations to rely on His power. I think God does that. He sometimes showcases our weaknesses to force us to rely on Him when we wouldn't naturally. I can tell you in my own life, that's definitely been great for me. Sucked at the time of course, but in the long run, I'm very thankful.
Lord, thank you for bringing so many people out of bondage in so many different ways. Thank you for being powerful, so I don't remain powerless.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Still Needing Accountability
As much as I'd like to say I'm writing this blog because I wanted to, I can't. Thankfully, I've got a great friend still keeping me accountable to blogging. I really am thankful for that. It is not easy getting back into a habit especially when you don't feel like it. But, here I am blogging because the Lord is faithful to me by providing me with accountability. Great day today, though! I'm really tired, but it was quite productive! 5 Hours of Class, then errands, smoothies with Julie (yummm!!), srat dinner and chapter, 2nd dinner and planning for our semester of YL (who doesn't love two dinners, right??), finished off by Zumba with Kristin and homework.
Isaiah 13:
Summary- The Lord is gonna destroy all of the evil things of this world in the end
My take- As I've talked a lot about how much I love the Lord's power lately, this passage puts his power in a whole different persepective. His power actually makes me fear Him a lot here. It talks about destroying land and shaking the heavens and just things only God can do. God is to be feared, definitely an affirmation of my blog the other day. I am learning more each day how much I need to fear God because of His awesome power.
v. 11-"I will halt the arrogance of the proud."
This may be the first time in a while that I didn't automatically feel convicted about this passage. The Lord has been working in my heart a lot lately with pride. I don't feel near as prideful as I did just two weeks ago. Thank goodness because I was getting pretty obnoxious! While I still have a lot of PRIDE, I am thankful for the way the Lord is working on it. I just needed to make sure I don't fall back into the vicious cycle I tend to get in where I feel really prideful and then, start to doubt myself and abilities. I serve a God bigger than that.
Lord, continue to mold me. Let me fear you because you rule the heavens and the earth. Thank you for being in control.
Isaiah 13:
Summary- The Lord is gonna destroy all of the evil things of this world in the end
My take- As I've talked a lot about how much I love the Lord's power lately, this passage puts his power in a whole different persepective. His power actually makes me fear Him a lot here. It talks about destroying land and shaking the heavens and just things only God can do. God is to be feared, definitely an affirmation of my blog the other day. I am learning more each day how much I need to fear God because of His awesome power.
v. 11-"I will halt the arrogance of the proud."
This may be the first time in a while that I didn't automatically feel convicted about this passage. The Lord has been working in my heart a lot lately with pride. I don't feel near as prideful as I did just two weeks ago. Thank goodness because I was getting pretty obnoxious! While I still have a lot of PRIDE, I am thankful for the way the Lord is working on it. I just needed to make sure I don't fall back into the vicious cycle I tend to get in where I feel really prideful and then, start to doubt myself and abilities. I serve a God bigger than that.
Lord, continue to mold me. Let me fear you because you rule the heavens and the earth. Thank you for being in control.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Praising His Name
Such a great weekend of relaxation and fun with so many of my ResLifers! Friday, watched a movie about Esther with my small group, went on-call, went to Waho with Robert, Matt, and SoRelle, and went on-call again. Saturday, slept in, had my TFA interview (which went really well!), ate DHall brunch, bridesmaid dress shopping with Anna and Kristin, Dinner at the Bistro with Rachel, her dad and grandfather (who are absolutely hilarious), my first ever session of Zumba on the wii with 5 other ResLife girls, No Strings Attached with ResLife girls and Rachel, followed by another Waho trip, and finishing with midnight light-up frisbee on Cannan Green with Jordy, Alston, Alex, Emily, Kerriann, and Aubri. Basically, I had the best weekend ever.
Isaiah 12:
Summary- We will all praise Him in the end
My take- I can't wait for that day. It is going to be so sweet. All of the people on this earth that said God wasn't real or that there are multiple Gods or anything else will be set in their tracks. They will be in awe of our Creator.
v. 2: "Behold, God is my salvation, I will trust and not be afraid." This is so comforting to me. It's always good to be reminded that God is my salvation and not any of the works I do here on earth. And because of Him saving me, I can be free of fear. I need to be constantly reminded of this. Fear is something that tends to creep into my life many times when I least expect it. Thankfully, the Lord lately has really calmed my most recent large fear of where I'll be and what I'll be doing next year. Do I know where I'll be or what I'll be doing? Absolutely not. Do I know that God's going to be with me and has a beautiful plan for my life? Yes.
This Chapter was just a great reminder to always be praising the Lord. It's easy to forget. It reminds me of a great song:
"Let everything that. Let everything that. Let everything that has breath praise the Lord.
Praise Him in the morning. Praise Him in the evening. Praise Him when I'm young and when I'm old. Praise Him when I'm laughing. Praise Him when I'm crying. Praise Him every season of my soul..."
Lord, may I never forget that praising you is what I'm made for!
Isaiah 12:
Summary- We will all praise Him in the end
My take- I can't wait for that day. It is going to be so sweet. All of the people on this earth that said God wasn't real or that there are multiple Gods or anything else will be set in their tracks. They will be in awe of our Creator.
v. 2: "Behold, God is my salvation, I will trust and not be afraid." This is so comforting to me. It's always good to be reminded that God is my salvation and not any of the works I do here on earth. And because of Him saving me, I can be free of fear. I need to be constantly reminded of this. Fear is something that tends to creep into my life many times when I least expect it. Thankfully, the Lord lately has really calmed my most recent large fear of where I'll be and what I'll be doing next year. Do I know where I'll be or what I'll be doing? Absolutely not. Do I know that God's going to be with me and has a beautiful plan for my life? Yes.
This Chapter was just a great reminder to always be praising the Lord. It's easy to forget. It reminds me of a great song:
"Let everything that. Let everything that. Let everything that has breath praise the Lord.
Praise Him in the morning. Praise Him in the evening. Praise Him when I'm young and when I'm old. Praise Him when I'm laughing. Praise Him when I'm crying. Praise Him every season of my soul..."
Lord, may I never forget that praising you is what I'm made for!
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