Lately, I've been trying to read out of some of the more obscure books in the Bible that I have never really read and have no idea about. I realized that I've maybe read a little over half the Bible and perhaps only understand a fraction of that. How do I stand so strongly for something if I know so little about it? This made me really think. I'm now on a quest to get to know some of these little known books.
Yesterday, I decided I would try Philemon. The basic summary of it is that Paul is writing a letter to Philemon asking him to take back Onesimus, a slave who had run away and since, become a Christian. Basically, it's a huge call for forgiveness from Paul to Philemon on Onesimus's behalf.
I like the message, but the verse that really got me was verse 6, which says, "that the sharing of your faith may become effective by acknowledgement of every good thing which is in you in Christ Jesus." Woah there, Paul! Are you saying that nothing I do is good without Christ?? Now, that's a definite knife to the ego.
This really hit me hard because one of my biggest struggles is pride. Since I was little, I was told I was the best and have had no reason to believe that I'm not. Don't get me wrong. I'm glad that my parents always encouraged me and believed in me. I wouldn't have accomplished many things in my life if they hadn't told me I was the best. And, I'm glad I'm positive and believe in myself. But, so many times I pat myself on the back, and congratulate myself for doing well on that test or being nice to that person when I didn't want to. What it comes down to though is the reason I did well on that test is because God gave me the discipline to study and gave me a functioning brain. The reason I was able to be nice to that person is because God chose me and chose to transform my life for Him. I could very well be addicted to drugs or sleeping around, but God chose me. He could have chosen someone else. The reason I am able to be good at all despite all the times I am so evil to this world is because He is in me, not because I am in me.
Heavenly Father, work on my pride even though I cling on to it so much and help me realize each good thing is only from you. Amen
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Proverbs 16:18 is what I would say to this, "Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before the fall." How many times do we take pride in our own success just to be shot down by God. It is so easy to forget that God is the one in control of our life. When everything is going well in my life I often forget to thank God, and instead I think to myself what a great Christian I am being or what a great job I am doing at not sinning. When I feel the most secure in my walk with God is when I become prideful. God then has to humble me and break me until I realize that "for when I am weak then I am strong". God has to break my pride in order to realize that I am nothing without God. What a tough lesson to learn. I am sure that pride is something that every Christian has struggled with and will continue to struggle with! You are not alone!
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