Transition

So, here I am 3 months in to my 'adult' life, and I am feeling a bit (or let's be honest, A LOT) directionless. For my whole life, I always was working towards goals. When I was in elementary school, I wanted to get the most laps in running club, make it on to student council, and be the best GT student. In middle school, I wanted to make the sports teams, get invited to the cool kid parties, and make it on Park Pride. In high school, I wanted to go to state in Tennis, win fair queen, and be valedictorian. In college, I wanted to be head RA, become large group coordinator of GCF, and excel in math. You get the point. I've always had goals. But, now I feel a little stuck. I guess I always figured at this point in my life I would 'on track' to getting married. Well, clearly that's not the case and now I'm kind of stuck where do I go from here.

I'm not going to lie. This transition is HARD. I know this is where I need to be right now, but that doesn't make me miss W&L any less. I miss my friends. I miss GCF. I miss Young Life. I miss ResLife. I even miss the way I was with the Lord there. You see in this transition, I've felt numb to the Lord. I guess I am so success driven that that is a way I have drawn close to the Lord. I seek his help, guidance, and just talk to him more when I'm trying to achieve a goal.

Don't get me wrong. Life in Houston is not bad. In fact, I do really like it. I've joined an awesome church with an even more awesome singles Sunday School class. I play sports with them. I have a small group. We go to social events together. I've met a lot of people. I am very thankful for that and I know that the Lord is going to/has been using these people to help me during this transition.

Now, I just pray that I get that desire for the Lord back. In my head, I know it's not the place or the group of people that draw me to the Lord, but in my heart, it's still hard for me to believe. I guess what I'm saying is that it was easy to draw close to the Lord there. It was comfortable. But, oh wait. The Lord doesn't call us to live comfortable lives. Dang it.

Lord, give me love for you. Let me yearn for you, Lord. Guide me through this transition and bring me joy that only comes from you.