God is good ALL the time! ALL the time, God is good!
The Lord has been ridiculously blessing me lately, so I thought I'd share just how He's been answering my prayers.
1.) Dodgeball tournament was soooo legit! Over 200 people were there total with parents, teachers, and faculty. All of the kids were really into it, and my team turned out better than I can imagine! I mean really, what could be better than bright green wigs?? We as leaders, really connected with new kids and old kids, and it served as a great foundation for our ministry this semester.
2.) First club was crazy awesome!! I'd say there were about 50 kids packed into a basement. Then energy was sooo high and all of the kids were really into it, jamming out to songs, participating actively in games, and the biggest blessing was that they were so attentive during the talk, which by the way was absolutely incredible!
3.) The Lord gave me motivation to do work today! huuuuuuuuge answered prayer right there..
4.) It may sound silly, but a date to Fancy Dress. Now, i'm super pumped for FD(and my birthday might I add)!
5.) Boldness to go ask stores for donations for our Chi O chili cookoff. I was super nervous, but just walked in there and did it!
6.) I only got 5 hours of sleep last night, but wasn't tired today!
I could go on and on, but you get the point.. God answers prayer!
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, with prayer and petition, present your requests to God. Phillipians 4:6
I love this verse because it doesn't say good requests or important requests, but simply your requests. No request is too simple or silly to God. I love that I know that God doesn't laugh at me when I pray about it anything, even the miniscule stuff!
God, thanks for listening to me and blessing me so much with answered prayers!
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Beautiful Creation
This week has been absolutely beautiful and I have thoroughly enjoyed getting to enjoy God's creation. I have been frequenting my favorite spot in Lexington, Jordan's Point. Ever think that God has made certain things just for you? Well, that's how I feel about this place. I feel so peaceful there, so aware of the blessings the Lord has given me, and just plain joyful. I get giddy every time it is pretty enough to go there. My latest joy is running there. Since I quit tennis, I have started running more often and have come to really enjoy it. Running is so freeing, like the world is your playground. You don't need anything to go somewhere, but you. I know for so many people running is torturous, but for me it's a release and a time when I just get to marvel at the Lord's creation and hang out with Him. What better way to hang out with the Lord than in His creation? In Hebrews 4:13, it says, "Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight." And I feel that when I'm running, I begin to be less blinded by the world and see more of the things that are so hidden from my view so many times. I yearn to see the world as God sees it, and I definitely thing that extends from seeing people as He sees them and creation as He sees it.
Lord, let me see the world as you see it. Thank you so much for the joy you bring me through Jordan's Point and running!
p.s. I'm off to the high school, then Jordan's Point again!! also.. we as Young Life leaders are hosting a dodgeball tournament tonight and over 150 kids have signed up! I'm on Team Leprechaun and can't wait to chunk some dodgeballs at people! Debrief on this coming soon!
Lord, let me see the world as you see it. Thank you so much for the joy you bring me through Jordan's Point and running!
p.s. I'm off to the high school, then Jordan's Point again!! also.. we as Young Life leaders are hosting a dodgeball tournament tonight and over 150 kids have signed up! I'm on Team Leprechaun and can't wait to chunk some dodgeballs at people! Debrief on this coming soon!
Thursday, March 4, 2010
I like rules
I've always said that I hate rules, but recently, I've discovered that secretly, I love them. Rules are tangible. Something that I can easily wrap my mind around. I am good at following rules. Last night, however, one of my best friends set me in my tracks, when she uncovered that I love rules and specifically following the "rules" of Christianity more than I love my relationship with Christ. Ouch. It hurts. I'm not gonna lie. When the Lord convicts you like that especially by somebody that loves you so much, you know it's a big issue.
Rules are what I cling to, where I find my pride a lot of times. I am the rules queen. You tell me a rule and I'll follow it. Because I follow most of what I've considered the "rules" of Christianity, I have been WAY too prideful about my faith. I'm not gonna sugar coat this. Honestly, I have thought for a long time that I was a better Christian than other people just because I followed the "rules" of Christianity. I would tell you how strong a person was in their faith by how well they followed rules. I say all the time, oh yeah, I sin, which I know I do, but in my prideful thinking, I also think, but I don't sin as much as that person over there. It's a trap because my thinking that, is a sin in itself.
Also, I view following rules as part of my journey to perfection. And, yes, I was also convicted about this. I'm a goal setter and a planner. Pretty much in every area of my life, I set goals and then work to achieve them. I put my faith into this same category as well. But, again, I was convicted that I will never reach perfection. Yes, I want to strive to be like Christ, who is perfect, but I will always fall short. Faith is not a journey that ends. It is a continual process. A lot of this stuff I'm saying seems like common sense, and I say it all the time, thinking I believe it. However, when I actually thought about it, I realized I didn't, which was another problem.
So, now I'm hurt, I'm broken, but the Lord has already been gracious enough to give me peace about this, and motivate me to change my perspective.
2 Corinthians 12:9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
Now, it's a tough thing to do, but I boast in my weakness. I am NOT perfect and I truly believe that now. I will NEVER be perfect. But, I don't have to be because Christ, who is perfect, died for me. His power is perfect in my weakness. For when I am weak, He is strong. Conviction stinks, but it's just the Lord's way of refining you, so I find joy in knowing that the Lord is refining me always.
Heavenly Father, thank you for humbling me even though it hurts. thank you for always refining me and never giving up on this prideful child of yours.
Rules are what I cling to, where I find my pride a lot of times. I am the rules queen. You tell me a rule and I'll follow it. Because I follow most of what I've considered the "rules" of Christianity, I have been WAY too prideful about my faith. I'm not gonna sugar coat this. Honestly, I have thought for a long time that I was a better Christian than other people just because I followed the "rules" of Christianity. I would tell you how strong a person was in their faith by how well they followed rules. I say all the time, oh yeah, I sin, which I know I do, but in my prideful thinking, I also think, but I don't sin as much as that person over there. It's a trap because my thinking that, is a sin in itself.
Also, I view following rules as part of my journey to perfection. And, yes, I was also convicted about this. I'm a goal setter and a planner. Pretty much in every area of my life, I set goals and then work to achieve them. I put my faith into this same category as well. But, again, I was convicted that I will never reach perfection. Yes, I want to strive to be like Christ, who is perfect, but I will always fall short. Faith is not a journey that ends. It is a continual process. A lot of this stuff I'm saying seems like common sense, and I say it all the time, thinking I believe it. However, when I actually thought about it, I realized I didn't, which was another problem.
So, now I'm hurt, I'm broken, but the Lord has already been gracious enough to give me peace about this, and motivate me to change my perspective.
2 Corinthians 12:9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
Now, it's a tough thing to do, but I boast in my weakness. I am NOT perfect and I truly believe that now. I will NEVER be perfect. But, I don't have to be because Christ, who is perfect, died for me. His power is perfect in my weakness. For when I am weak, He is strong. Conviction stinks, but it's just the Lord's way of refining you, so I find joy in knowing that the Lord is refining me always.
Heavenly Father, thank you for humbling me even though it hurts. thank you for always refining me and never giving up on this prideful child of yours.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Mission Trip Debrief
As I said earlier, the mission trip was beyond belief wonderful! I had not been expecting much, but let me tell you, it delivered! Here's the break down day by day:
Saturday, February 20
We were scheduled to leave Lexington at 10. I got out to the quad at 10:02, thinking I was late, to only find 2 other people there. Thus, Lauren and I took a brief trip to McDonald's to get some breakfast and then by the time we got back, everyone was ready to leave by 10:30. We stopped in Winchester at noon for lunch, which was when I discovered I had left my entire purse with wallet, camera, and glasses in my car in Lexington. great. But, crazy enough, the Lord calmed my heart and I didn't worry about it too much. Thankfully, I had my phone,my W&L ID, and my phone, so at least I had something. Saturday, we move in to the CSM (Center for Student Missions) headquarters at a church in DC, go for Thai food at the Thaitanic (haha). Then, we just hung out, played mafia (best game ever especially with ridiculous characters), jammed out to Levi on the guitar, and just talked. Great low key night.
Sunday, February 21
We had the opportunity to go to the National Cathedral for church, which was awesome! They even introduced us in the service and the place was incredibly beautiful! It was cool to just be in a totally different kind of service than I'm used to. We then went for Mexican (which is actually the best Mexican I've had outside of Texas) with Chris and Hilary, W&L alums. Again, just a great time of fellowship. That afternoon, they just introduced the CSM program, rules, etc. and then we went on a prayer tour of the city that night. As part of the tour, we went to this breathtaking view where you could see the whole city, and just prayed for a city that looked so beautiful on the exterior, but was hurting so much on the interior. This night, we went for Ethiopian food! Not my taste, but I'm still so glad that I tried it. Then, back to the headquarters for more mafia and hanging out before going to sleep earlyish (12:30) because we had to get up at 5:30 for our service the next day.
Monday, February 22
Arose at 5:45 after apparently my watch had gone off and I told Abby I wasn't waking up. haha.. I don't remember that at all. Anyways, we then left for SOME (So Others Might Eat), a soup kitchen in downtown DC to serve breakfast and lunch. My serving group was so legit and Steve truly did a great job in picking the groups to serve the specific people each would serve. Mine included Eric, Luke, Will, Abigail, Lauren, me with our fearless leader Steve. For breakfast, Luke and I served as dishwashing dominators. We had so much fun and needless to say, those dishes were completely dominated! We served over 300 people for breakfast and I loved the way the SOME workers were just incredibly joyful and really treated the people they served incredibly well. Everything was incredibly clean with floral arrangements on tables, and it basically just felt like a really nice cafeteria. Then, we had a Bible Study at 9:30 followed by most of us crashing with our heads on the table for an hour nap before we served lunch. For lunch, we all served on the serving line, which was so fun and took a lot of teamwork. This is when I met Michelle, who has one of the most joyful spirits I have ever seen. She was the supervisor of SOME and probably knew at least 50% of the people we served by name. They all loved her and she loved them. By the end of the day, she knew all of our names and even teased us like we were her own nieces and nephews. She called me T-Mobile girl because I talked so fast! haha.. Also, side fact is that this is the same soup kitchen that the Obamas served at on MLK day in January. Then, in the afternoon, we went to the Fishing School, which is an after school program for inner-city schools. We went to their headquarters, which has just been redone by Extreme Makeover in August and it was absolutely beautiful! After an introduction to the program, we headed for an elementary school where we were divided into 2s and sent into classrooms with about 15 kids. I had a 4th grade class and I absolutely loved loving on these kids! They were incredible kids, who really just desired affection and attention, and I was there to give it to them. We ran games about multiplication, homonyms, and fractions and just helped with homework. Then, that night we went out to the Vietnamese hub of all of the East Coast. There were over 120 shops, restaurants, etc. and I loved the Vietnamese food! And of course, then back to the church for more hanging out and mafia!
Tuesday, February 23
We got to sleep in all the way 'til 7:15! haha.. then, we had a morning Bible study and headed for DC Central Kitchen, which is a program that takes leftover food from restaurants, grocery stores, etc. and makes it into meals for area homeless shelters, school programs, etc. It truly taught me what service is. At SOME, we saw the faces of the people we were serving, which was so rewarding. Here, we were just making food for people we would never see. Steve, a CSM leader and I literally made over 400 croissant sandwiches, prepared pasta for over 400 people, and carved turkeys. I realized just how hard straight service is. I'm glad I got to do that though as it definitely checked where my heart for service was. In the afternoon, we were back at the Fishing School, where the kids ran up to us as soon as they saw us and it was really hard to leave. I was already attached to my 4th graders. That night, we took the Urban plunge, which was where we were each given 2 dollars, left in Union Station, and told among our group of 3 to feed ourselves, a homeless person, and find out where we would find medical care, eat, sleep, etc. if we were homeless in DC. My group, which was Will, Kate, and I, worked out perfectly, because Will was willing to barter with food places for lower prices, while Kate and I went up and initiated conversation with different homeless people. The first woman, that we talked to, we found digging through a trash can near the food court. Her name was Deborah, and she was so helpful! She just talked and talked and talked to us. She even offered her own change to us even though she had so little! She truly showed me what it means to give selflessly! After bartering, we got a plate of Indian rice with curry sauce, 2 chicken soft tacos, and a beef taco. Upon advice from Deborah, we found a homeless shelter and started talking to Jackie, a homeless woman probably in her 60s. As soon as we started talking to her, she gave us her seat and stood up without even thinking about it. Again, she gave selflessly of what little she had. She was a character, I tell you. We're pretty sure she had dementia, but I loved listening to her tell us that she was about to go to Princeton, how great her kids were, and how I shouldn't get married until I was 50.. haha.. probably some good advice. At the end, we even got the chance to ask her if she wanted us to pray for anything. She said she wasn't that kind of religious, but still it was cool that we got to witness to her in that way. We then prayed for her and all of the homeless people in DC as we walked back to Union Station.
Wednesday, February 24
We debriefed on the whole trip and headed off for the rest of our Feb breaks.
Things I'm taking from the trip:
1.) A different perspective of the homeless- Will I give money to homeless people on the street now? No. What I will do though is stop and talk to them. I learned that every person has a story and needs to be heard and loved no matter who you are.
2.) The realization of just how blessed I am- We hear it every day that we're blessed, but I now take every meal I eat and truly thank the Lord I have it. I also thank the Lord for people that listen to me and love me.
3.) Closer friends- The Lord definitely had His hand in who would come on this trip. I became closer to every single person on the trip and admire all of their hearts for service. I especially think it was great that none of my best friends came on the trip because it forced me to get to know other people, and now I'm so thankful for the close friendships I have from the trip that I would have never had.
Lord, thank you for this amazing trip. Let the things I learned not be something I take with me for just these next few weeks, but something that translates into my entire life.
Saturday, February 20
We were scheduled to leave Lexington at 10. I got out to the quad at 10:02, thinking I was late, to only find 2 other people there. Thus, Lauren and I took a brief trip to McDonald's to get some breakfast and then by the time we got back, everyone was ready to leave by 10:30. We stopped in Winchester at noon for lunch, which was when I discovered I had left my entire purse with wallet, camera, and glasses in my car in Lexington. great. But, crazy enough, the Lord calmed my heart and I didn't worry about it too much. Thankfully, I had my phone,my W&L ID, and my phone, so at least I had something. Saturday, we move in to the CSM (Center for Student Missions) headquarters at a church in DC, go for Thai food at the Thaitanic (haha). Then, we just hung out, played mafia (best game ever especially with ridiculous characters), jammed out to Levi on the guitar, and just talked. Great low key night.
Sunday, February 21
We had the opportunity to go to the National Cathedral for church, which was awesome! They even introduced us in the service and the place was incredibly beautiful! It was cool to just be in a totally different kind of service than I'm used to. We then went for Mexican (which is actually the best Mexican I've had outside of Texas) with Chris and Hilary, W&L alums. Again, just a great time of fellowship. That afternoon, they just introduced the CSM program, rules, etc. and then we went on a prayer tour of the city that night. As part of the tour, we went to this breathtaking view where you could see the whole city, and just prayed for a city that looked so beautiful on the exterior, but was hurting so much on the interior. This night, we went for Ethiopian food! Not my taste, but I'm still so glad that I tried it. Then, back to the headquarters for more mafia and hanging out before going to sleep earlyish (12:30) because we had to get up at 5:30 for our service the next day.
Monday, February 22
Arose at 5:45 after apparently my watch had gone off and I told Abby I wasn't waking up. haha.. I don't remember that at all. Anyways, we then left for SOME (So Others Might Eat), a soup kitchen in downtown DC to serve breakfast and lunch. My serving group was so legit and Steve truly did a great job in picking the groups to serve the specific people each would serve. Mine included Eric, Luke, Will, Abigail, Lauren, me with our fearless leader Steve. For breakfast, Luke and I served as dishwashing dominators. We had so much fun and needless to say, those dishes were completely dominated! We served over 300 people for breakfast and I loved the way the SOME workers were just incredibly joyful and really treated the people they served incredibly well. Everything was incredibly clean with floral arrangements on tables, and it basically just felt like a really nice cafeteria. Then, we had a Bible Study at 9:30 followed by most of us crashing with our heads on the table for an hour nap before we served lunch. For lunch, we all served on the serving line, which was so fun and took a lot of teamwork. This is when I met Michelle, who has one of the most joyful spirits I have ever seen. She was the supervisor of SOME and probably knew at least 50% of the people we served by name. They all loved her and she loved them. By the end of the day, she knew all of our names and even teased us like we were her own nieces and nephews. She called me T-Mobile girl because I talked so fast! haha.. Also, side fact is that this is the same soup kitchen that the Obamas served at on MLK day in January. Then, in the afternoon, we went to the Fishing School, which is an after school program for inner-city schools. We went to their headquarters, which has just been redone by Extreme Makeover in August and it was absolutely beautiful! After an introduction to the program, we headed for an elementary school where we were divided into 2s and sent into classrooms with about 15 kids. I had a 4th grade class and I absolutely loved loving on these kids! They were incredible kids, who really just desired affection and attention, and I was there to give it to them. We ran games about multiplication, homonyms, and fractions and just helped with homework. Then, that night we went out to the Vietnamese hub of all of the East Coast. There were over 120 shops, restaurants, etc. and I loved the Vietnamese food! And of course, then back to the church for more hanging out and mafia!
Tuesday, February 23
We got to sleep in all the way 'til 7:15! haha.. then, we had a morning Bible study and headed for DC Central Kitchen, which is a program that takes leftover food from restaurants, grocery stores, etc. and makes it into meals for area homeless shelters, school programs, etc. It truly taught me what service is. At SOME, we saw the faces of the people we were serving, which was so rewarding. Here, we were just making food for people we would never see. Steve, a CSM leader and I literally made over 400 croissant sandwiches, prepared pasta for over 400 people, and carved turkeys. I realized just how hard straight service is. I'm glad I got to do that though as it definitely checked where my heart for service was. In the afternoon, we were back at the Fishing School, where the kids ran up to us as soon as they saw us and it was really hard to leave. I was already attached to my 4th graders. That night, we took the Urban plunge, which was where we were each given 2 dollars, left in Union Station, and told among our group of 3 to feed ourselves, a homeless person, and find out where we would find medical care, eat, sleep, etc. if we were homeless in DC. My group, which was Will, Kate, and I, worked out perfectly, because Will was willing to barter with food places for lower prices, while Kate and I went up and initiated conversation with different homeless people. The first woman, that we talked to, we found digging through a trash can near the food court. Her name was Deborah, and she was so helpful! She just talked and talked and talked to us. She even offered her own change to us even though she had so little! She truly showed me what it means to give selflessly! After bartering, we got a plate of Indian rice with curry sauce, 2 chicken soft tacos, and a beef taco. Upon advice from Deborah, we found a homeless shelter and started talking to Jackie, a homeless woman probably in her 60s. As soon as we started talking to her, she gave us her seat and stood up without even thinking about it. Again, she gave selflessly of what little she had. She was a character, I tell you. We're pretty sure she had dementia, but I loved listening to her tell us that she was about to go to Princeton, how great her kids were, and how I shouldn't get married until I was 50.. haha.. probably some good advice. At the end, we even got the chance to ask her if she wanted us to pray for anything. She said she wasn't that kind of religious, but still it was cool that we got to witness to her in that way. We then prayed for her and all of the homeless people in DC as we walked back to Union Station.
Wednesday, February 24
We debriefed on the whole trip and headed off for the rest of our Feb breaks.
Things I'm taking from the trip:
1.) A different perspective of the homeless- Will I give money to homeless people on the street now? No. What I will do though is stop and talk to them. I learned that every person has a story and needs to be heard and loved no matter who you are.
2.) The realization of just how blessed I am- We hear it every day that we're blessed, but I now take every meal I eat and truly thank the Lord I have it. I also thank the Lord for people that listen to me and love me.
3.) Closer friends- The Lord definitely had His hand in who would come on this trip. I became closer to every single person on the trip and admire all of their hearts for service. I especially think it was great that none of my best friends came on the trip because it forced me to get to know other people, and now I'm so thankful for the close friendships I have from the trip that I would have never had.
Lord, thank you for this amazing trip. Let the things I learned not be something I take with me for just these next few weeks, but something that translates into my entire life.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Loved and Loving
more to come later, but..
my mission trip to DC was IN-CRED-I-BLE!!!
seriously, some of the 4 most wonderful, eye-opening, perspective-changing, fun days of my life.
The Lord gave me a week where I felt completely loved, which I really needed after the previous week where I had been feeling neglected. He definitely had His hand in choosing the people to go on the trip because I could not have asked for a better, more cohesive group. I think the reason it worked so well is that we had a very diverse group of people where everyone was very welcoming and no one separated off into cliques.
I learned truly how to love people no matter what state they are in. I learned that everyone has a story and needs to be heard. I learned that everyone needs and yearns for love. The system breaks people, but God cares for people. Thus, as Christians, we are to care for people.
Lord, let me see people as you see them and love them as you love them.
my mission trip to DC was IN-CRED-I-BLE!!!
seriously, some of the 4 most wonderful, eye-opening, perspective-changing, fun days of my life.
The Lord gave me a week where I felt completely loved, which I really needed after the previous week where I had been feeling neglected. He definitely had His hand in choosing the people to go on the trip because I could not have asked for a better, more cohesive group. I think the reason it worked so well is that we had a very diverse group of people where everyone was very welcoming and no one separated off into cliques.
I learned truly how to love people no matter what state they are in. I learned that everyone has a story and needs to be heard. I learned that everyone needs and yearns for love. The system breaks people, but God cares for people. Thus, as Christians, we are to care for people.
Lord, let me see people as you see them and love them as you love them.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Never Neglected
Ever feel just neglected even when you know you are very loved? I feel almost selfish feeling like this because I know I have more people that love me well than so many people around the world, but this week has just been a bit of a rough week for me. And the saddest part is, I need to follow my own advice about not being offended by anything. I know that the people that I have felt neglected by this week did not mean to neglect me at all. In fact, they don't even know that I feel neglected by them because of course, I put on the happy face for everyone. But, you know the good thing about this kinda low week? You better believe I've been calling on the Lord. "I will never leave you, nor forsake you." Hebrews 13:5
God has been listening to a lot of me this week, and I love that I know He hears me. He's definitely drawing me closer to Him through this tough time. I hate it that this usually happens though. Whenever I'm down, me and Jesus are in a constant convo, but then when things start going well, I start going back to relying on myself. I am so thankful that I know that I have a God that will never leave me and will be there whenever I need Him. I honestly don't understand how people make it through life without God because especially in rough times, He is my strength and there is no way I would make it through without Him. So, I'm off to spend some time with the One who is always there for me, even when I feel like others aren't.
Lord, Thank you so much for never leaving me! Thank you for this trial in my life even though I don't enjoy it because you have brought me to your feet. Let me continue to stay there no matter how bad or good life is.
God has been listening to a lot of me this week, and I love that I know He hears me. He's definitely drawing me closer to Him through this tough time. I hate it that this usually happens though. Whenever I'm down, me and Jesus are in a constant convo, but then when things start going well, I start going back to relying on myself. I am so thankful that I know that I have a God that will never leave me and will be there whenever I need Him. I honestly don't understand how people make it through life without God because especially in rough times, He is my strength and there is no way I would make it through without Him. So, I'm off to spend some time with the One who is always there for me, even when I feel like others aren't.
Lord, Thank you so much for never leaving me! Thank you for this trial in my life even though I don't enjoy it because you have brought me to your feet. Let me continue to stay there no matter how bad or good life is.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
The Journey to Contentment
Content. Sometimes I think I'm the most content person in the world. While other times, like today, I feel so discontent. For the past 2 1/2 years I have been at school, it has been a constant prayer for me to be content. Senior year of high school, I felt on top of the world. I was #1 in my class, #1 on the tennis team, queen of a lot of organizations, had the best two friends, Austin and Omar, in the world, and a ridiculously awesome family. I was content. But, why was I content? I learned the hard way once I got to college that I had been content because everything was going my way.
I got to W&L thinking that nothing would change. I thought I could still rule the world just from a different location. Boy, was I wrong! I came onto a national champion tennis team where I was nowhere close to being at the top of the lineup. My grades were average at best. I was a quiet member of a few organizations. I felt so lonely without my two best friends to hang out with on weekends when everyone else was going out to parties and drinking. And, I didn't want to tell my family that I was having a rough time because I didn't want them to worry.
Now, I don't want this to sound like a pity party because I am actually really glad I had that tough time looking back on it! I gained so much independence that I don't think would have ever been formed without a tough time like that. Because everything had gone my way for so much of my life, I had never had to be independent. I depended on my parents and friends, and everything worked out at that time! Then, college came and a crazy and great thing happened, I not only had to rely on myself, I was forced to rely on the Lord even if it was because I had no other choice!
These past two summers have been huge personal growth summers for me. I worked at a Christian camp in Texas with 8th and 9th graders. I wanted to work there because I had been going to camp there my whole life, wanted to prove I could do it, and it didn't hurt that there were many ridiculously Godly men who were serving as counselors, too. But, the Lord had me there for another reason. I got the worst acne I had ever had in my entire life summer 2008. I was forced to find contentment in the Lord because I sure wasn't content in the way I was looking. Even though it was tough, I grew so much in my dependence on the Lord. I realized I didn't just want the Lord, I NEED the Lord! I had never yearned for the Lord, and I truly yearned for Him! And, working with 8th and 9th grade girls, I could truly relate to a lot of the issues they were facing because I was facing them with them! The Lord definitely used something I hated for His glory! Then summer 2009, I went back to camp this time with better motives. Again, the Lord transformed me when I thought I was a pro at this whole being a counselor thing. He taught me, that His timing is truly sovereign, even when it's not my timing. 3rd week into camp, I came down sick with the flu. I was frustrated because I wanted to be at camp, but I was forced to go home and recooperate. In the Lord's timing, it was just the week my brother ,who is exploring many faiths, had come home from Argentina after 6 months studying abroad. It was such a sweet time to really bond and love my brother even from my sick bed. Then, I went back to camp and 2 1/2 weeks later, I again came down sick. This time, with the oh so infamous, swine flu. That's right, both strains of the flu, within two weeks. It was a rough summer on my body. I was really, really frustrated. The cabin I currently had was the best cabin I had ever had, and I wanted to finish out the week with these incredible girls. But again, I was forced to go home to recooperate. The very night of the day I went home, my oldest brother calls, and surprises us all that he just got engaged! I would have not been home or heard about it if I had not gotten sick! Lord's timing is so perfect! Thank you Lord for letting your timing be better than mine!
Anyways, all of this to say, the Lord continues to work on me being content in Him and only Him. No matter if I'm making good grades, dominating at tennis, or whatever else I deem as successful, I can be content because I have Him and I know that I'm going to be spending eternity with Him!
"Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content!"
Philippians 4:11
Will I ever reach the destination of contentment? Probably not. Do I love it when the Lord works on me to push me to be content in Him? Absolutely not. Do I love the way He has grown me in contentment in the past couple of years? Absolutely yes. I guess, I'll continue on the journey, knowing that contentment in Him and only Him is so sweet.
Lord, let me be content in you no matter if I'm on top of the world or in the deepest valleys. Thank you for continuing to work on such an imperfect, discontent person like me.
I got to W&L thinking that nothing would change. I thought I could still rule the world just from a different location. Boy, was I wrong! I came onto a national champion tennis team where I was nowhere close to being at the top of the lineup. My grades were average at best. I was a quiet member of a few organizations. I felt so lonely without my two best friends to hang out with on weekends when everyone else was going out to parties and drinking. And, I didn't want to tell my family that I was having a rough time because I didn't want them to worry.
Now, I don't want this to sound like a pity party because I am actually really glad I had that tough time looking back on it! I gained so much independence that I don't think would have ever been formed without a tough time like that. Because everything had gone my way for so much of my life, I had never had to be independent. I depended on my parents and friends, and everything worked out at that time! Then, college came and a crazy and great thing happened, I not only had to rely on myself, I was forced to rely on the Lord even if it was because I had no other choice!
These past two summers have been huge personal growth summers for me. I worked at a Christian camp in Texas with 8th and 9th graders. I wanted to work there because I had been going to camp there my whole life, wanted to prove I could do it, and it didn't hurt that there were many ridiculously Godly men who were serving as counselors, too. But, the Lord had me there for another reason. I got the worst acne I had ever had in my entire life summer 2008. I was forced to find contentment in the Lord because I sure wasn't content in the way I was looking. Even though it was tough, I grew so much in my dependence on the Lord. I realized I didn't just want the Lord, I NEED the Lord! I had never yearned for the Lord, and I truly yearned for Him! And, working with 8th and 9th grade girls, I could truly relate to a lot of the issues they were facing because I was facing them with them! The Lord definitely used something I hated for His glory! Then summer 2009, I went back to camp this time with better motives. Again, the Lord transformed me when I thought I was a pro at this whole being a counselor thing. He taught me, that His timing is truly sovereign, even when it's not my timing. 3rd week into camp, I came down sick with the flu. I was frustrated because I wanted to be at camp, but I was forced to go home and recooperate. In the Lord's timing, it was just the week my brother ,who is exploring many faiths, had come home from Argentina after 6 months studying abroad. It was such a sweet time to really bond and love my brother even from my sick bed. Then, I went back to camp and 2 1/2 weeks later, I again came down sick. This time, with the oh so infamous, swine flu. That's right, both strains of the flu, within two weeks. It was a rough summer on my body. I was really, really frustrated. The cabin I currently had was the best cabin I had ever had, and I wanted to finish out the week with these incredible girls. But again, I was forced to go home to recooperate. The very night of the day I went home, my oldest brother calls, and surprises us all that he just got engaged! I would have not been home or heard about it if I had not gotten sick! Lord's timing is so perfect! Thank you Lord for letting your timing be better than mine!
Anyways, all of this to say, the Lord continues to work on me being content in Him and only Him. No matter if I'm making good grades, dominating at tennis, or whatever else I deem as successful, I can be content because I have Him and I know that I'm going to be spending eternity with Him!
"Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content!"
Philippians 4:11
Will I ever reach the destination of contentment? Probably not. Do I love it when the Lord works on me to push me to be content in Him? Absolutely not. Do I love the way He has grown me in contentment in the past couple of years? Absolutely yes. I guess, I'll continue on the journey, knowing that contentment in Him and only Him is so sweet.
Lord, let me be content in you no matter if I'm on top of the world or in the deepest valleys. Thank you for continuing to work on such an imperfect, discontent person like me.
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