Wow! The Lord is so good to me. After all that insecurities talk two days ago, the Lord has answered my prayers about that in HUGE ways already. While two days ago, I was feeling lonely and almost friendless at home, today I got to have such fun,sweet community with literally all my favorite people at home. It started off with lunch with mom, then second lunch where I didn't actually eat with Liz and Kristina catching up on Liz's newfound married life, then dinner with my cousin, Elyssa who I hadn't seen in over a year (can I just say it's so wonderful to have family that even though you don't see very often, you can start up just where you left off?), a hilarious time of dessert at Chili's with Brittany and Jilian, and finished off with late night basketball with my favorite boys Austin, Omar, Steven, and Tyler. What a wonderful day where I felt so loved and had an absolute blast every second! God is good. And the best part is as soon as I got home I felt like reading Isaiah!!
Isaiah 6:
Summary- Isaiah's vision in the temple, the Lord's declaration of the blindness that is to come for the Jewish nation, and the destruction which will follow
My take- I love the imagery in the first part. It just describes so majestically the Lord sitting on His throne. It really brings out that God is King and ruler of the earth. As cliche as it may be, I absolutely love verse 8, "Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying: "Whom shall I send, and who will go for Us?" Then I said, "Here I am! Send me!" I love that despite all the wickedness that is going on, somebody has to step up to help overcome it. The best part is Isaiah's response, not only in its words, but also how quickly he responds with no doubt. I want to respond to the Lord like that. I want this year to be the year that I stop saying, I'll go if you send me to the places I want to go, but I'll go where you want me to go. I'll go to Washington if that's where He has or even to Japan. I want to be where the Lord wants me.
Lord, thanks for being so good to me even when I'm not good to you. Thanks for being so generous and merciful on me!
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Woman of Prayer
So, I wish I were one. I also wish I was patient, understanding, non-judgmental, and many other things. These are all traits that i'm constantly striving to become, although not easy. One of my biggest goals beyond these, though, is to be a woman of prayer. I want prayer to so consume my life that I can't help, but talk to everyone about what I'm praying about and how God has answered prayer. That's one of the reasons I really want to be diligent with prayer journal again is to start me on the journey to becoming a woman of prayer and eventually, a woman of the Lord. Right now, I'd definitely still consider myself a girl of the Lord. I have SO much growing to do. I know I always will, but in my head, I have this magic formula as to what a woman of the Lord is that I want to achieve. There are just certain women that I see, and am just like, "Wow! That is a woman after the Lord's own heart!" I want to be that SOOOOO badly!
Speaking of answered prayer, the Lord definitely answered my prayers about my insecurities yesterday. One of the biggest reasons my insecurities crept in was because I had texted a few people without response from them. (Silly reason to become insecure I know, but I couldnt' help it.) Come to find out today that all of the text messages I sent/are sending are not going through plus one of my best friends tried to call me and my phone never showed the call! Thus, my little insecurities were actually just a phone malfunction. Thanks, Lord for answering my prayers!
And now, Isaiah 5:
Summary: I'll be real, I'm still a little confused about what's going on. From what I understand, the first part is about a vineyard that is supposed to grow well, but ends up growing wild grapes instead. I think this is symbolism for the house of Israel, but I'll check up on it and find out by tomorrow. The second part is about the danger in excess of anything whether it be wine or possessions or any other thing.
My take: From the vineyard, the Lord has the power to do whatever He pleases and our actions will have consequences on judgment day. From the second part, I really like this because it somewhat speaks to my questions about how much is too much. It's basically saying things in themselves are not evil, but things when they are completely unneeded and cause pride are not good. Probably my favorite verse is verse 20,
"Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; who put darkness for light, and light for darkness; who put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!"
What this has to do with the excess issue is that we deceive ourselves into thinking that if a little is okay, then a lot is okay as well. These days, we're hearing so many mixed messages on what is "good" and what is "light" that we need to make sure our definition of good or light comes straight from the Lord and His word and not our own conceptions.
Well, that's all I've got today. I'll try to research Isaiah 6 a little better to see if my take is along the right lines or not.
Lord, thanks for a joyful day today.
P.S. Update on the New Year's Resolutions: Today I ran 3 miles, played tennis, had only 1 coke, and have no completed my chapter in the Bible and blog!
Speaking of answered prayer, the Lord definitely answered my prayers about my insecurities yesterday. One of the biggest reasons my insecurities crept in was because I had texted a few people without response from them. (Silly reason to become insecure I know, but I couldnt' help it.) Come to find out today that all of the text messages I sent/are sending are not going through plus one of my best friends tried to call me and my phone never showed the call! Thus, my little insecurities were actually just a phone malfunction. Thanks, Lord for answering my prayers!
And now, Isaiah 5:
Summary: I'll be real, I'm still a little confused about what's going on. From what I understand, the first part is about a vineyard that is supposed to grow well, but ends up growing wild grapes instead. I think this is symbolism for the house of Israel, but I'll check up on it and find out by tomorrow. The second part is about the danger in excess of anything whether it be wine or possessions or any other thing.
My take: From the vineyard, the Lord has the power to do whatever He pleases and our actions will have consequences on judgment day. From the second part, I really like this because it somewhat speaks to my questions about how much is too much. It's basically saying things in themselves are not evil, but things when they are completely unneeded and cause pride are not good. Probably my favorite verse is verse 20,
"Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; who put darkness for light, and light for darkness; who put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!"
What this has to do with the excess issue is that we deceive ourselves into thinking that if a little is okay, then a lot is okay as well. These days, we're hearing so many mixed messages on what is "good" and what is "light" that we need to make sure our definition of good or light comes straight from the Lord and His word and not our own conceptions.
Well, that's all I've got today. I'll try to research Isaiah 6 a little better to see if my take is along the right lines or not.
Lord, thanks for a joyful day today.
P.S. Update on the New Year's Resolutions: Today I ran 3 miles, played tennis, had only 1 coke, and have no completed my chapter in the Bible and blog!
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Insecurities
So, tonight I was actually feeling more like starting my quiet time than the last two nights, which is definitely a blessing. Thanks Lord!
Isaiah 4: Really short and sweet
Summary: Finally, the renewal of Zion and how beautiful and glorious it will be once the Lord has washed away all the filth
My take: I can't wait for all of my filth to be taken away, and the glory of the Lord to completely take over my life. I can't wait for Him to take away all of these little insecurities that started to creep back into my life these past few days. I guess it comes with being home alone since the parents are back at work and having a lot of time to myself to think. I tend to get myself into trouble when I think too much on my own. I overanalyze everything. I know these insecurities are natural and the Lord is in control of them (praise the Lord or else I'd be doomed), but it doesn't make it any easier. The longer since high school graduation the less interaction I have with high school friends, and the less they seem to care. I know it's just that we're growing apart especially since I've been in Virginia, but it doesn't make it any easier. I just miss those high school days sometimes when I'd be called as soon as I woke up as to the plan for the day. I'd always have people to hang out with. Don't get me wrong. I still have some great high school friends that I cherish a lot and always will, but it's just a different kind of relationship now. Also, it's a blessing in a disguise. I've had the most quality time with my parents, especially my mom, these nights since I'm not going to hang out with friends like I used to. It's at a time like this that I am so happy the glory of the Lord is going to take over my overanalytical mind, and cover it in His glory and majesty.
Lord, continue to remind me that I am loved because I am yours and that your love is the ultimate love. Let me be content in you, even when I'm not feeling content in my circumstances. Thank you for your neverending love!
Isaiah 4: Really short and sweet
Summary: Finally, the renewal of Zion and how beautiful and glorious it will be once the Lord has washed away all the filth
My take: I can't wait for all of my filth to be taken away, and the glory of the Lord to completely take over my life. I can't wait for Him to take away all of these little insecurities that started to creep back into my life these past few days. I guess it comes with being home alone since the parents are back at work and having a lot of time to myself to think. I tend to get myself into trouble when I think too much on my own. I overanalyze everything. I know these insecurities are natural and the Lord is in control of them (praise the Lord or else I'd be doomed), but it doesn't make it any easier. The longer since high school graduation the less interaction I have with high school friends, and the less they seem to care. I know it's just that we're growing apart especially since I've been in Virginia, but it doesn't make it any easier. I just miss those high school days sometimes when I'd be called as soon as I woke up as to the plan for the day. I'd always have people to hang out with. Don't get me wrong. I still have some great high school friends that I cherish a lot and always will, but it's just a different kind of relationship now. Also, it's a blessing in a disguise. I've had the most quality time with my parents, especially my mom, these nights since I'm not going to hang out with friends like I used to. It's at a time like this that I am so happy the glory of the Lord is going to take over my overanalytical mind, and cover it in His glory and majesty.
Lord, continue to remind me that I am loved because I am yours and that your love is the ultimate love. Let me be content in you, even when I'm not feeling content in my circumstances. Thank you for your neverending love!
Monday, January 3, 2011
Taken
Yet another night where I didn't really want to start my quiet time because this time I'm really tired, but thankfully, the Lord has given me discipline despite. I'll be real. When I first read Isaiah 3, I wasn't really sure what it was about or how I could get anything from it. So, I read it, took a shower, and now just reread it and actually like and understand it.
Isaiah 3
Summary: the Lord will judge in the end and anything we have here will be taken away
My take: The Lord will take away anything and everything when people don't follow Him. The Lord is definitely not about showiness.
"In that day the Lord will take away the finery; the jingling anklets, the scarves, and the crescents; The pendants, the bracelets, and the veils..." v. 18, 19
So, I love to shop. I have a lot of things. Do I think the Lord is against having scarves or bracelets, etc? Absolutely not. What I think He's against is letting those things become idols in our lives. This verse is a great reminder that when the Lord comes back, all of the material things we have will be taken away, but it won't matter at ALL because we'll be with the Lord. This idea is something I'm still battling with. What is enough? I know it's all about the heart, but it's really hard to accurately judge your own heart sometimes. Is it okay to want a new dress just because even though I don't need one? I know I could give that money to someone else. It definitely makes me think a lot. I've gotten to the point where I don't buy expensive things anymore, but do I even need the things I do buy? I probably toil with this more than I should because I want there to be one set answer, but unfortunately, there's not one. This issue will probably something I try to figure out my whole life. All together, all of these things we have on earth will mean nothing, so focus less on the things here and more on God.
Lord, give me discernment in this issue. Amen.
Isaiah 3
Summary: the Lord will judge in the end and anything we have here will be taken away
My take: The Lord will take away anything and everything when people don't follow Him. The Lord is definitely not about showiness.
"In that day the Lord will take away the finery; the jingling anklets, the scarves, and the crescents; The pendants, the bracelets, and the veils..." v. 18, 19
So, I love to shop. I have a lot of things. Do I think the Lord is against having scarves or bracelets, etc? Absolutely not. What I think He's against is letting those things become idols in our lives. This verse is a great reminder that when the Lord comes back, all of the material things we have will be taken away, but it won't matter at ALL because we'll be with the Lord. This idea is something I'm still battling with. What is enough? I know it's all about the heart, but it's really hard to accurately judge your own heart sometimes. Is it okay to want a new dress just because even though I don't need one? I know I could give that money to someone else. It definitely makes me think a lot. I've gotten to the point where I don't buy expensive things anymore, but do I even need the things I do buy? I probably toil with this more than I should because I want there to be one set answer, but unfortunately, there's not one. This issue will probably something I try to figure out my whole life. All together, all of these things we have on earth will mean nothing, so focus less on the things here and more on God.
Lord, give me discernment in this issue. Amen.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
He is Mighty
So, I'll be honest with you. Tonight I didn't really want to start my quiet time. I wanted to continue playing Boggle, but I know that my walk with the Lord is many times about discipline and not what I want to do. So, here I am having read Isaiah 2 and feeling good about it.
Isaiah 2-
Summary: Talks about the day the Lord comes back, Part 1-Everyone will soon exalt the Lord, Part 2-what that day is going to look like when the Lord comes back starting with all of the people worshiping themselves and ending in Him fully being glorified and idols being taken away.
My Take:
Part 1- How sweet is it that every person in this world will exalt His name that day? When reading this, I also thought about people who don't believe in a God. What are they gonna feel like when they are exalting God? What harm would it do them believing in a God? Really, what are they getting out of believing Godlessness? Well, I just realized what they are getting is selfishness. With no God, they can fully focus on self. No thanks. If I had to focus on myself, I think I'd just get frustrated with how imperfect I am. In fact, that happens to me often. I start focusing too much on myself, and get frustrated when I'm not perfect. Newsflash, I'll never be perfect. I know that, but I still don't like it.
Part 2-
"Their land is also full of idols; They worship the work of their own hands, That which their own fingers have made." v. 8
Woa! This hit home. How often do I marvel at what I've done? Sadly, I do that a lot. If I get an A on a test, I feel really good at myself and marvel at how good I am. Rarely do I say, "Man, God! Thanks so much for giving me an A on this test!" I definitely will have to start doing more marveling at God and not myself. He is the one that made me, so any good that comes from me is His, even a good grade.
Along with pride,
"The loftiness of man shall be bowed down, And the haughtiness of men shall be brought low. The Lord will be exalted in that day" v. 17
Even the most exalted person on this earth will be nothing compared to the Lord when He comes back. All this pride I have here will completely be stripped of me because the Lord will be exalted and no one else. Again, it's a tough pill to swallow. I've actually been thinking a lot about this lately because after this year, I will again go from being a big fish in a small pond to a small fish in the big pond of life. I have felt very on top of the world many times this year with being in a lot of leadership positions. It scares me that next year I won't be leading anything, except maybe a classroom of middle schoolers, and even then, they'll probably be leading me. I'll be honest. I like being in authority. I like being the leader. I just have to be really careful to make sure that's not where my identity and contentness is coming from. That's part of the reason I know I really need to grow in the Lord in the next 5 months because I don't want to feel this huge drop next year. I just need to keep reminding myself that no matter what authority position I'm in or not in, the Lord is the ultimate authority and I can be joyful and content because He is my authority.
"From the terror of the Lord and the glory of His majesty." v. 10 and 19
So many times these days, we just talk about the love side of Jesus and not the fear side. Yes, Jesus is loving. In fact, the most loving being you'll ever meet. But, I love that this passage talks about the "terror" of the Lord. We all will be terrified when the Lord comes back because he is God!! He is the all-knowing, omnipresent being! That is pretty terrifying, but exciting at the same time! To me, this just demonstrates his power. Powerful is probably my favorite attribute of God. I like them all, but I love that because God is with me, I am more powerful than anyone or any situation on its own. Check this out in verse 21, "When He arises to shake the earth mightily." You can't get much more powerful than that! Also, I can't wait to see what His majesty looks like in all His glory!! I can't wait!! It's gonna be the most amazing and beautiful thing ever!!
Lord, mold me into the woman of the Lord you want me to be. I pray for growth these next 5 months in a way I can't even imagine. I pray you bring me to my knees. I pray you make me a woman of prayer. Lord, thank you for this journey!
Isaiah 2-
Summary: Talks about the day the Lord comes back, Part 1-Everyone will soon exalt the Lord, Part 2-what that day is going to look like when the Lord comes back starting with all of the people worshiping themselves and ending in Him fully being glorified and idols being taken away.
My Take:
Part 1- How sweet is it that every person in this world will exalt His name that day? When reading this, I also thought about people who don't believe in a God. What are they gonna feel like when they are exalting God? What harm would it do them believing in a God? Really, what are they getting out of believing Godlessness? Well, I just realized what they are getting is selfishness. With no God, they can fully focus on self. No thanks. If I had to focus on myself, I think I'd just get frustrated with how imperfect I am. In fact, that happens to me often. I start focusing too much on myself, and get frustrated when I'm not perfect. Newsflash, I'll never be perfect. I know that, but I still don't like it.
Part 2-
"Their land is also full of idols; They worship the work of their own hands, That which their own fingers have made." v. 8
Woa! This hit home. How often do I marvel at what I've done? Sadly, I do that a lot. If I get an A on a test, I feel really good at myself and marvel at how good I am. Rarely do I say, "Man, God! Thanks so much for giving me an A on this test!" I definitely will have to start doing more marveling at God and not myself. He is the one that made me, so any good that comes from me is His, even a good grade.
Along with pride,
"The loftiness of man shall be bowed down, And the haughtiness of men shall be brought low. The Lord will be exalted in that day" v. 17
Even the most exalted person on this earth will be nothing compared to the Lord when He comes back. All this pride I have here will completely be stripped of me because the Lord will be exalted and no one else. Again, it's a tough pill to swallow. I've actually been thinking a lot about this lately because after this year, I will again go from being a big fish in a small pond to a small fish in the big pond of life. I have felt very on top of the world many times this year with being in a lot of leadership positions. It scares me that next year I won't be leading anything, except maybe a classroom of middle schoolers, and even then, they'll probably be leading me. I'll be honest. I like being in authority. I like being the leader. I just have to be really careful to make sure that's not where my identity and contentness is coming from. That's part of the reason I know I really need to grow in the Lord in the next 5 months because I don't want to feel this huge drop next year. I just need to keep reminding myself that no matter what authority position I'm in or not in, the Lord is the ultimate authority and I can be joyful and content because He is my authority.
"From the terror of the Lord and the glory of His majesty." v. 10 and 19
So many times these days, we just talk about the love side of Jesus and not the fear side. Yes, Jesus is loving. In fact, the most loving being you'll ever meet. But, I love that this passage talks about the "terror" of the Lord. We all will be terrified when the Lord comes back because he is God!! He is the all-knowing, omnipresent being! That is pretty terrifying, but exciting at the same time! To me, this just demonstrates his power. Powerful is probably my favorite attribute of God. I like them all, but I love that because God is with me, I am more powerful than anyone or any situation on its own. Check this out in verse 21, "When He arises to shake the earth mightily." You can't get much more powerful than that! Also, I can't wait to see what His majesty looks like in all His glory!! I can't wait!! It's gonna be the most amazing and beautiful thing ever!!
Lord, mold me into the woman of the Lord you want me to be. I pray for growth these next 5 months in a way I can't even imagine. I pray you bring me to my knees. I pray you make me a woman of prayer. Lord, thank you for this journey!
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Starting with Isaiah
So, as part of my New Year's Resolution, I am going to read a chapter of the Bible every day and blog about it on here to process through it starting with Isaiah. The reason I'm doing this is because I've never been good at comprehending what I'm reading. Thus, even after being in church my whole life, attending small groups weekly, and leading Bible studies, I have very little knowledge of the Bible. I've learned how to not comprehend, but pick out a verse or two that I like and apply it to my life to sound really good in small groups or Sunday School. I don't want to be this way any more, I want to know the Word, not just act like I do.
Isaiah 1:
Summary: It's a lot about how sinful people have become and how terrible that is, and then towards the end, it talks about how the Lord can wash all of this terrible-ness.
My take:
Fight against evil. Let the Lord wash you of sin. Don't hold onto it. Let the Lord forgive you.
"Learn to do good; Seek justice, Rebuke the oppressor, Defend the fatherless, plead for the widow." v. 17
This directly relates to a HUGE area of growth in my walk with the Lord in the past year through my summer with CSM. I finally see that doing the Lord's work is not always peaceful, and we really do need to seek justice even when you must fight for what is just. We need to stand up for people that can't stand up for themselves. Seeking justice is perhaps the thing I'm still learning most about. Being a math person, I like things right and wrong and if you tell me how something is, I take that and run. Thus, I have always just believed what I've heard about the way we treat certain groups of people as justice. In particular, I never challenged the fact that homeless people are not all just bums who don't want to work. Boy was I wrong! The Lord in fact calls us to fight for them! Seek justice for them! Yes, there are plenty of homeless people who are bums, but that's not all of them!
"Come now, and let us reason together," says the Lord, "Though your sins are like scarlet, They shall be as white as snow;" v. 18a
I didn't realize until I read the commentary in my Bible that that is the Lord personally inviting us to come reason things out with him. Basically, he's inviting us to talk over our life with Him. How sweet is that?!? Even more so, he's inviting us to share our sin with Him, so he can free us from it and make it "white as snow." Lately, my prayer life has been down the drain. My prayers have consisted of rushed meal time prayers or asking for safety for people. Those aren't bad, but He wants to share my life, not just 10 minutes a day! I vow now to pray way more often than that. How much better will life be? I can't wait to see what the Lord does when I'm in constant communication with Him about my life.
O, Happy Day that I get to go talk with Jesus now!
In His Arms, C
Isaiah 1:
Summary: It's a lot about how sinful people have become and how terrible that is, and then towards the end, it talks about how the Lord can wash all of this terrible-ness.
My take:
Fight against evil. Let the Lord wash you of sin. Don't hold onto it. Let the Lord forgive you.
"Learn to do good; Seek justice, Rebuke the oppressor, Defend the fatherless, plead for the widow." v. 17
This directly relates to a HUGE area of growth in my walk with the Lord in the past year through my summer with CSM. I finally see that doing the Lord's work is not always peaceful, and we really do need to seek justice even when you must fight for what is just. We need to stand up for people that can't stand up for themselves. Seeking justice is perhaps the thing I'm still learning most about. Being a math person, I like things right and wrong and if you tell me how something is, I take that and run. Thus, I have always just believed what I've heard about the way we treat certain groups of people as justice. In particular, I never challenged the fact that homeless people are not all just bums who don't want to work. Boy was I wrong! The Lord in fact calls us to fight for them! Seek justice for them! Yes, there are plenty of homeless people who are bums, but that's not all of them!
"Come now, and let us reason together," says the Lord, "Though your sins are like scarlet, They shall be as white as snow;" v. 18a
I didn't realize until I read the commentary in my Bible that that is the Lord personally inviting us to come reason things out with him. Basically, he's inviting us to talk over our life with Him. How sweet is that?!? Even more so, he's inviting us to share our sin with Him, so he can free us from it and make it "white as snow." Lately, my prayer life has been down the drain. My prayers have consisted of rushed meal time prayers or asking for safety for people. Those aren't bad, but He wants to share my life, not just 10 minutes a day! I vow now to pray way more often than that. How much better will life be? I can't wait to see what the Lord does when I'm in constant communication with Him about my life.
O, Happy Day that I get to go talk with Jesus now!
In His Arms, C
Friday, December 31, 2010
New Year's Resolutions
2011 is gonna be a transition year for me. I'll be graduating (we hope anyways!) from W&L in May and then become a "real" adult.. ahhh. scary.. I don't know where I'll be working, where I'll be living, or what I'll be doing come next New Year's Eve, but I do know that my God has already written my story and does know all of these things. With this, here's some of my resolutions for a sure to be exciting year.
Spiritual:
Chapter Per Day in My Bible
Blog about Said Chapter
Disciple a freshmen girl
Write a Page Every Day in My Prayer Journal
Pray!! Pray!! Pray!! I want my prayer life to greatly increase!
Physical:
Running and Ab Workout 3 Days/Week
Only 2 cokes/Day
Tennis Once/Wk
Run a half marathon!
Academic:
>3.75 GPA This Term
Peace and Joy to You for 2011!
Spiritual:
Chapter Per Day in My Bible
Blog about Said Chapter
Disciple a freshmen girl
Write a Page Every Day in My Prayer Journal
Pray!! Pray!! Pray!! I want my prayer life to greatly increase!
Physical:
Running and Ab Workout 3 Days/Week
Only 2 cokes/Day
Tennis Once/Wk
Run a half marathon!
Academic:
>3.75 GPA This Term
Peace and Joy to You for 2011!
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